Christmas Presents, Chastity, and....Rock the Vote?

I've spent the past few weeks thinking a lot about chastity. It has come up in conversations with my wife. It has also come up in the course of my job, in the planning process for a meeting on Theology of the Body for Teens for youth group. And then I saw this today:

Rock the Vote Asks Supporters to Withhold Sex to Pass Health Care Reform

This is wrong on so many different levels. On the most basic level, and one that, consequently, I have been thinking about a lot lately, it is an assault on chastity. We, as Catholics...well....actually....as HUMANS, are all called to live chaste lives.Our culture tells us otherwise. Our culture tells us it's O.K. to have sex anywhere, anytime, except, apparently, with someone who opposes the current health care legislation.

Since I've been thinking about chastity a lot lately, I've also been thinking about what it truly means to be chaste. Our culture tells us that chastity is sexual repression. Chastity is not sexual repression. Sexual repression is the unhealthy attempt to ignore or bury sexual desires. Chastity is embracing our sexual desires and using them as God intends.

What does that mean? Let me tell you a story to illustrate. When I was younger, around 13 or 14, my 2 brothers and I couldn't wait for Christmas to come. We were beyond the years of believing in Santa and we were impatient teenage boys. So, shortly after Thanksgiving we began our hunt. We scoured the house, from top to bottom, from the attic to the garage. We lacked self-control. After we discovered the first present, we couldn't resist and kept looking for more. The instant gratification we had in finding each of the presents was addicting. It didn't matter that we didn't know who the presents were for. It was all about the hunt. It was all about the finding. The three of us, over the course of a couple of weeks, had successfully discovered every single one of the Christmas presents my parents had purchased.

Christmas morning came and so did a tremendous amount of disappointment. I was disappointed that some of the presents I found and coveted for myself went to my brothers instead. I was disappointed because the mystery, the rush of anticipation, the excitement of Christmas' past wasn't there. It was the worst Christmas I have ever experienced. My search for instant gratification ruined my Christmas.

John Paul II said that "chastity is a difficult, long term matter. One must wait for it to bear fruit." Just as my search for all of my Christmas presents had no lasting satisfaction and ultimately led to disappointment, being sexually active (which involves much more than just having sex. We must be pure in our thoughts as well.) outside of God's intentions does the same. God has a wonderful, beautiful present for each one of us. For some of us, that present is a spouse. This present that God has for us is far better than anything we can find on our own. We must wait for this present. It will be a difficult wait. It will be radically counter-cultural (another subject my wife and I have been talking about lately) to wait. This waiting, this call to chastity, applies to all of us, whether married, single, or in celibate ministry. God will reward us for doing so. And it will be far more rewarding and will bear much more fruit than opening presents that first of all, aren't intended for us, and second of all, not ready to be given to us.

I'm Awful at Praying

I'm not a good prayer....I mean...I don't pray well. I never have been good at it. I have never been consistent at it. I try my hardest, sometimes, to make an effort to pray every day, but oftentimes my prayer is not fruitful. So I give up. I've expressed this to my spiritual director and he gave me some advice on how to focus my prayer. I've read books about prayer and tried the ideas in those books. The advice I've received from my spiritual director and the books I read are helpful....for a while. Then I fall back into my "old ways" and eventually give up on praying all together.

I think there are a couple of things at work here that are preventing me from being good at prayer. The first thing is my lack of commitment to it. At the first signs of "distress" I give up. I throw in the towel. I'm not disciplined enough to work through the difficult "desert moments" in my prayer and remain consistent. I can say all the right things and make all the promises but when push comes to shove, I just lack discipline.

I think there is something else going on, something deeper, that is at the heart of my problem with prayer. It is in yet another book I'm reading on prayer, Prayer and the Will of God, by Dom Hubert van Zeller. This idea that has been presented to me in van Zeller's book is something I've never considered before, and it is this:

Prayer comes from God, is kept going by God, and finds its way back to God by its own power. All we have to do is lend ourselves to the process as generously as we can, and not put any obstacles in the way.

So, who or what is the obstacle in my prayer? Me. I'm the obstacle in my prayer. The book goes on to say that "we are not so holy or so clever that we can make prayer. Prayer is a grace." My problem is that I'm trying to make prayer happen. I'm the one who is trying to control my prayer.

I need to do as van Zeller suggests, to just lend myself to the process and get out of the way. I need to put myself in a place where God can work through me in prayer. I need to give control over to God. This is a hard thing to do, with anything in our lives. I'm slowly learning to let go. I believe that this is the next thing that God is asking me to do--to let go of my spiritual life and give control of it over to Him. In the meantime, I take solace in the fact that "all He asks is that I should try to serve Him. The moment I try, I am in fact succeeding." (van Zeller)

Praise God for His mercy and strength!

Selling the "Catholic" Dream

Working in youth ministry, I am intimately aware of our culture, particularly youth culture. I know what the teens listen to, what they watch, what they wear, and what video games they play. They are all wonderful kids, but they are, as we all are, influenced by our culture.

Robert P. Lockwood, in his book A Guy's Guide to the Good Life: Virtues for Men says that "we're not created by culture, we create culture." He have created the culture we live in, either directly or indirectly. The media, Hollywood, and advertisers have a direct influence on our culture. Magazines, television, and advertisers tell us how we should dress, what we should eat, and how we should live our lives. You and I have had an indirect role in the creation of our culture by buying into the "American Dream" that the media is selling.

Many of us, myself included, just flow with the waves of our culture, allowing it to have an influence on our lives. What we don't realize is that we are being manipulated. We're being manipulated by advertisers to buy their products. We're being manipulated by Hollywood to watch their movies. We're being manipulated by the media to believe in their causes. We, as individuals, have lost our voices.

We have been led to believe that our culture creates us. In reality,  we create our culture. It's time we realize this.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that Catholicism is counter-cultural. It's really sad that Catholicism is counter-cultural. It shouldn't be that way. We, as Catholics, need to resist the influence of the culture that is being pushed on us by the media and advertisers. We need to live out our Catholic faith dutifully. We need to be counter-cultural until the tide turns and the principles of Catholicism become mainstream. We need to sell the "Catholic Dream" to everyone we meet through our words and our actions. For as Lockwood also points out: "The goodness we can create in the small moments of our lives can reach far beyond us in ways that we never know."

What Are You Celebrating?

We are in the midst of a wonderful season: Advent. It is a time of preparation, a time of waiting, a time of anticipating. What are we waiting for? We, as Christians, are waiting for and preparing for the birth of Christ. We are anticipating His coming. We look forward to, each year, celebrating the birth of Jesus....or are we? Do we really celebrate the birth of Jesus?

Each and everyone is celebrating something--and not just at Christmas. We are celebrating something each and every day of our lives. What are we celebrating? Take a look at your lives. What is important to you? Is your Xbox or Wii important to you? Is it your iPhone or Blackberry? Is shopping important to you, or making lots of money? Is prestige and popularity important to you? Is partying and drinking important? Is your family important to you? Is your faith important? Whatever it is that you find important, whatever it is that you give priority to in your life is what you celebrate.

We all become what we celebrate. If you celebrate the things of this world, then you will become worldly. If you celebrate your family, then you will have a strong family. If you celebrate Christ's birth, ministry, death, and resurrection, then you will become more Christ-like.

It's your choice. No one is forcing you to celebrate on thing over another. What do you want? Do you want worldly success? Do you want a strong family? Do you want to be more like Christ? Then celebrate! For me, I choose to celebrate family and Christ. I hope you choose the same.

What Is Catholicism?

Rules, rules, rules. Why are there so many rules? What's the deal with the Catholic Church telling me what to do? Why is the Church so restrictive?

These are all great questions, but they are born out of the wrong approach. They are born, most of the time, out of a lack of understanding. I, at one time, felt the same way. There were particular "rules" of the Catholic Church that I just didn't agree with. This preoccupation with the "rules" is, I believe, at the heart of the identity crisis the Catholic church is facing currently.

I asked the teens the other night at a youth group meeting, "What is Catholicism?" None of the teenagers present had an answer to that question. All of them had been through religious education of some sort. Some of them had gone to, and still go to, Catholic schools. I can say that I am not surprised at their lack of understanding of what Catholicism is. I don't fault them for their lack of understanding. Until the past few years, I too, had a lack of understanding of what Catholicism was. While our Catholic religious education system does a good job at teaching (in most situations) the rules of the Church, where we have failed is in getting Catholics to understand Catholicism on a deeper level. So now we have a couple of generations of people that feel that Catholicism is just a religion, a sect, or a set of rules.

Catholicism, in its true essence, is a way of life. It is transformation. It is a call to live an authentic life. Catholicism is much more than just showing up to church on Sunday and occasionally receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It is more than following the rules set forth by the Pope.

The other thing I did at the youth group meeting that night was challenge the teens to take one "rule" of the Church that they think is too restrictive and try to understand why the Church holds that particular position. I then explained that if they did so that I guaranteed that that rule would point to something Jesus said in the Gospels. The teachings of the Church are there as a guideline for us to live the lives that Christ wants us to live. They are there to challenge us to become better people, not to prohibit or restrict us.

I don't know much about other Christian traditions, but I imagine that most of them were founded on the thought that Catholicism was too restrictive. The founders of these churches, I imagine, did not want to be challenged to go outside their comfort zones, so they left and started their own churches.

Catholicism is a choice. It is a choice to truly live out the Gospel in our lives. And yes, living out the Gospel involves sacrifice. It involves stepping outside of our comfort zones and doing what is right despite how hard it is. Catholicism is counter-cultural. If there is one thing we, as Catholics, are called to do above all else, it is this: "I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you should love one another. This is how we will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35) This is how we will reclaim our Catholic identity.

Who Are You?

Most people don't know what they want. Most people don't know who they are. Most people don't know who they are capable of becoming." ~Matthew Kelly

I have long struggled with feeling like the above statement. I, professionally speaking, have struggled for a number of years with what I want out of a career. I have a degree in English Literature because I wanted to teach, but I've never stepped into a classroom. I worked in retail management for 11 years bouncing from retailer to the next--4 different jobs in all--trying to figure out what I wanted. I then abandoned retail and pursued a career in sales as a financial advisor. When that didn't work out, I landed a job in youth ministry. In the past 15 years I've had 6 different jobs in three different industries. I've spent, on average, 2 1/2 years at each job, all in an effort to figure out what I wanted.

When expressing to my wife that I just feel like I don't know who I am or what I'm called to do she responded, quite frankly, "Tim, it's not supposed to be about what you feel. You are called to do what God wants you to do, not what you feel like doing." And she's right. Our feelings oftentimes have a tendency to mislead us.

I've spent a lot of time over the past couple of months trying to figure out what my calling is--what my vocation is. I've come to the conclusion, that I am in the exact place that God wants me to be in. I love my wife dearly. She is my best friend and my vocation. She is, and needs to be, my number one priority. Although it may seem, at times, like I don't enjoy my children, I truly do love my five kids. I wouldn't give them up for anything, nor, if I had the opportunity to "do it all over again", would I choose to have less kids.

My job is truly wonderful. It fits me so well. I spoke with an old friend the other day whom I haven't spoken to since I took this job in youth ministry. He told me that youth ministry is the perfect fit for me. He's right. Sometimes I lose sight of that when I get caught up in my feelings.

So, after struggling for so many years, I have finally found what I want, who I am.

Why am I writing this today? First of all, this is a new found discovery. It wasn't until just a few weeks ago that I discovered that I am exactly where God wants me to be. It's a very freeing experience to have. I am now free to carry out God's will in my life, and to focus on the third component of Matthew Kelly's quote above--to discover who I am capable of becoming. You see, unless you know who you are and what you want, you can't move forward to grow into the person you are capable of becoming. I am now free to focus my energies on becoming the best husband, father, and youth minister I can be.

The second reason for writing this blog today is that I know that I am not the only person who has struggled with who they are and what they want. I know that there are many other people out there that are trying to find themselves in this world. I know many of the teens I work with in youth ministry are trying to find themselves as well.

So, how did I get to where I am at now? How did I discover what I wanted and who I was? I didn't. God revealed to me who I was and what I wanted. It has taken me 15 years of trial, mistakes, and suffering to get to this point. For the first 13 years I did what I wanted (or, I should say, what the world told me what I wanted). I didn't listen to the voice of God, but instead listened to the voice of the world. God had to break me to get me to listen to Him. And after 7 months of unemployment, God finally revealed to me that what I truly wanted was what He wanted for me. Is my life perfect now? Hardly, but I'm finally at peace with my life. I'm no longer searching for the next thing to do. I'm focusing my life on what God is doing in me today and not on what God wants me to do tomorrow.

It took a long time for me to discover my true calling in life. I have been living this calling for a year and a half now and I only discovered it a few weeks ago. Call me stubborn and thick headed. If you don't know who you are or what you want from life I have some advice for you. Pray. And then pray some more. Seek out the advice of your spouse, your friends, your family. And then take that advice to prayer. Surrender your will to God. Don't focus on your feelings or what you want, but instead try to understand what God wants for you. He has a beautiful plan for each of us, but He won't force it on us. We must let go and trust in Him. My life is radically different for doing so. I'm happier. I'm at peace. And hopefully it won't take you as long to discover yourself as it took me.

Lord Save Us, We Are Perishing!

I met with a new spiritual director today, something I've been meaning to do for a number of months since my last one became pastor of a parish an hour away. Since neither of us knew each other (he was suggested to me by my boss) we spent part of the time getting to know each other a little better.

Overall, it was a very good meeting. We talked about many things: my prayer life, the need to read scripture more, ideas to keep me from getting distracted while in prayer, etc. One thing that we discussed was some of my fears about the future--particularly financial fears in the midst of this current economy. He related my fears to the story of the calming of the storm (Matt 8:23-27)

Here you have Jesus in a boat with his disciples in the middle of a nasty storm--and Jesus is sleeping!! How dare he! How could he be sleeping at a time like this! (At least that is what I thought, and probably his disciples as well.) It seems as though Christ is sleeping through many of the storms in our own lives as well. The disciples may have even asked themselves why Christ even allowed this storm. I know I ask that about the storms I've encountered in my life.

Christ is not here to prevent storms from coming into our lives. He is there with us through those storms. It may seem as though he is sleeping through them, but he is not. He is at our sides, guiding us through them. And, when the time is right, he will calm the storms in our lives.

The hard part is having the faith to endure the storms. I imagine the disciples had sheepish looks on their faces when Christ asked them, "Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?" I can visualize Christ adding "I'm here. Isn't that enough for you? Trust me, I know what I'm doing." And that is exactly what we need to do--trust God. He knows what he is doing. He has never allowed me to perish, and he will never allow you to perish--if we have faith and trust in him.

So, whether you are dealing with financial woes, illness, addiction, or some other storm in your life, trust in the Lord. Have faith. If you do so, surely you will not perish.

Saint of the Day: A Book Review

I knew that Saint of the Day was going to be a good book when I showed my wife and she said, "Ooooh, Cool!" It is indeed a very good book!

I decided to get this book from The Catholic Company for a couple of reasons. First of all, while I grew up Catholic, I know very little of the wonderful saints of our faith. I want to learn more. Secondly, and most importantly, we are all called to be saints. We should all get to know the saints better so that we can have an example with which to live our lives by.

Now, on to the book review. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of saint books available. One of the reasons I've never purchased one before was that it seems as though the choices are overwhelming. Well, let me make the choice easier for you. This is a wonderful saint book. Does it have every saint that has ever been named by the Vatican? No, and I don't think such a book exists. It does, however, have entries for 239 saints and blesseds and 16 Marian feasts. It is ordered by feast day and includes an alphabetical listing in the index.

In addition to the format of the book, I really enjoyed the format of this book. With each saint there is biographical information, a comment, and a quote. What I enjoy most are the comments because they contain reflections to help the readers become more like the saints.

If you are looking to get a good saint book, I highly recommend this one.

(Required disclosure: I received this book for free in return for giving an honest review)

The Great Chasm

"...so that I might experience by myself the distance there is between the true purpose of the matrimonial contract, made for the sake of offspring, and the covenant of a lustful love, where children are born unwanted, though when once born they force us to love them." ~St. Augustine

There is a deep and wide chasm in this world--a chasm that separates us. One one side of the chasm you have a large portion of the world. They live their lives the way they want to. They want the "right" to choose to do what they want with their bodies. They dress in ways that invite others to notice them. They are desperate for love and attention and are willing to go to all costs to get that love and attention--even if it means misusing their bodies and the bodies of others. They have no shame, revealing their most intimate aspects of their person to gain attention. In doing so, they subject themselves to being used and abused. Some of them even go so far as to destroy babies to get what they want. They shout the cries of "sexual freedom" but they are slaves to their desires. They appear to be having fun, but they are not. They are living lives of quiet desperation.

On the other side of the chasm you have a small portion of the world. They live their lives the way God wants them to. The people on this side want to do what is right rather than having the right to do what they want. They understand that they are made in the image and likeness of God and that our bodies reveal our call to love. They respect the bodies of others and uphold the dignity of life. They give rather than take, because they understand that that is what love is all about. They live with and invite shame because they understand that shame protects the dignity of the human person so that they are not reduced to an object. They truly are free to love because they are not chained by their desires. They truly are happy, filled with the joy of Christ. They are living lives wrapped in the love and grace of God.

Each one of us is either on one side of the chasm or the other. We either, as St. Augustine puts it, understand "the true purpose of the matrimonial contract" or we are living lives in the "covenant of lustful love." There is no middle ground.

There is, however, a bridge across this great chasm. You can choose to go to one side of the chasm or the other. Each side has risks involved. On the side of sexual impurity you become a slave to your passions. You may think you are free, but you are not. You risk your salvation.

The side of sexual purity is the more difficult side. It is counter-cultural to be on that side. There is suffering, because it is hard to resist the pull of sin. You will be rejected b others. But the joy and the love you will have on that side is incomprehensible and everlasting. You gain your salvation on the side of sexual purity.

Which side are you going to choose to be on? For me, as tough as it may be, I choose the side of sexual purity. I am willing to endure ridicule and suffering in exchange for the everlasting love of God. I am willing to risk it all for my salvation.

You Are What You Think

When trying to decide on what to name me, my mother picked up the bible. She did this at a time in her life where she wasn’t even going to church, much less reading the bible. My name, Timothy Daniel, came from two prominent figures in scripture. I like my name. I’m actually a little glad she didn’t read more than the names of the books in the bible and come up with a name like Ammihud Gamaliel for me.

When I was a teen and my mother told me the story of how she came up with my name I decided that I should read those two books of the bible. I was amazed at how much I could relate to both Daniel and Timothy. I got so much from reading them. God really knew what he was doing when he led my mother to pick up the bible to find my name.

One scripture passage that has really touched my life is from the First Letter to Timothy: “Let no one have contempt for your youth, but set an example for those who believe, in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.” (1 Tim. 4:12). Anyone who has ever been involved in youth ministry is intimately aware of this passage.

The passage applies to all—not just the youth. We are all called to set an example. We all need to monitor our speech and conduct so that it reflects Christ. We need to love as Christ loved. We need to have faith that God will guide us and we need to remain pure in our thoughts and actions.

It is so easy to say the right things to be a Christian, but so much more difficult to actually live it out. Why is it so difficult? I have asked, and heard others ask: “God, why do you have to make life so difficult?” It’s an interesting question. However, it pushes blame on God for our state in life. God did not cause us the trials and errors we experience in life. We did. God gave us free will to choose to follow Him or not to follow Him. It is our choice to not set an example.

So, if it is so hard, how do we do it? How do we actually live out a Christian example. There are many tools available to us to help us live a Christ-like life. One of the most important tools at our disposal is the Sacred Scriptures. This is, literally (according to the Catholic Church), the Word of God. It’s our manual. We need to immerse ourselves in the scriptures—to read it every day. We become what dominates our thoughts. If our thoughts are dominated by the Word of God then we will become more like Christ.

I'm Back!

After taking some time to reflect on God's will in my life regarding the future of my blog. I have discovered that I truly do enjoy writing this blog and I will continue to do so.

The problem I was running in to was I started to focus more on the pleasure of seeing how many people read my blog than on the message I was sharing. I became obsessive with getting the hits to my blog up, looking at my Google Analytics chart daily--sometimes several times a day. I also felt the need to post something just for the sake of posting something. This was a completely wrong way to look at writing my blog and having this as a ministry.

I do still feel God calling me to share my views, insights, and experiences in my faith. I need to focus more on selflessly sharing my faith instead of selfishly getting people to view my blog. So, I have implemented a few things. First of all, I have deleted the Google Analytics code from my blog so I will no longer know how many people view it. I will try to write at least once a week, but I will not hold myself to that. I will write only when inspired by God to share something. I will continue to post links to it on Facebook and Twitter, but I will no longer obsess with "getting the message out". The links on Facebook and Twitter will serve only as a way to let people that enjoy reading my blog know that I have written a new blog post. Finally, and most importantly, I will pray before I post anything to discern whether or not God wants me to share what write with others.

I do ask a favor of all that read my blog. If you enjoy what you read, if you are inspired by it, share it with someone.

I Need a Break

I've been writing this blog for a little more than a year now. When I first started writing the blog I had two main goals in mind: (1) To minister to the teens that are in my youth ministry program; (2) To let my blog serve as my online "journal" to help me to grow in my own faith. While my blog has served those two purposes (the second to a greater degree than the first) I feel that lately I have lost sight of the original purposes of writing.

Readership of my blog over the past year has grown from just a few hits per month to a few hundred hits per month. While this can be seen as a good thing in the terms of ministry, in terms of my personal perspective, it has been damaging. Lately, my focus has been more on increasing traffic to my blog than on ministering to myself and others. I have a sense of pride in accomplishing what I have in my writing. I have indeed grown in my faith through writing this blog over the past year. The impact on the teens I minster to is a bit more difficult to measure, but I pray that it has had a positive impact on them as well. However, the pride I have been feeling lately about all of this has been a self-righteous pride. I just hope and pray that the pride I'm feeling is not coming out in my writing.

So, I need a break. I need to take some time off to realign my priorities. I need a dose of humility by removing myself from the source of my self-righteous pride. Most importantly, I need to pray. I need to pray about the future of this ministry. I need to pray that I would be able to serve God and not myself in writing my blog. I need to discern whether or not God wants me to continue writing.

I don't know when, or if, I will write again. I thank you all for stopping by and reading what I have written. I thank all of you who have written kind words about my blog. Please pray for me as I discern its future.

Doers of the Word: A Book Review

I recently read Doers of the Word by Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan as a part of the reviewer program for The Catholic Company. I have been wanting to read on of his books for a long time as was excited when I saw it as a part of the program.

This book is not what I expected it to be. I expected it to be a typical book on faith and spiritually. While it is a book on faith and spirituality, it is set up differently than a standard book. It is set up as a series of short essays on a range of Catholic subjects. I really enjoyed this format because in my busy schedule I don't have a lot of time to sit down and read long chapters.

Abp. Dolan does a fantastic job at helping readers to understand the precepts of our faith, from the Sacraments, to the liturgical calendar, to Mary and the Saints. He closes the book out with a chapter entitled "Workers in the Vineyard." This is our call to action. Abp. Dolan takes key issues in our Catholic faith and explains, in plain English, the reason for our stance and the need for us to take a stand on these issues that plague our society. The issues he tackles range from abortion to caring for the sick.

I really enjoyed reading Abp. Dolan's book. I looked forward to picking it up every day and am longing to read more of his work.

(Required Big Brother Disclosure: I received this book for free in return for writing an honest review of it.)

Jesus Is Irrelevant!

Yep, you read it correctly! Jesus is irrelevant. The Catholic Church, too, is irrelevant. We, as a people, have become enlightened and no longer need the restrictive rules and guidelines set forth by Christ and the Church. The Church is run by a bunch of old curmudgeons. That's right, I said curmudgeons. They have no right to tell me what to do or how to live my life! Their rules are outdated and arbitrary.

This is how I started my high school youth group meeting the other day. It certainly got their attention (got yours too!). I was pointing out the way many people feel about the Catholic Church and religion in general. It's a shame that so many people feel this way.

I believe that many people have this bad attitude towards Christianity and religion because they feel it restricts their freedom. They feel that the teachings of Christ and the Church is too restrictive and that they need to change their rules (or eliminate them) in an effort to be more "inclusive" and respectful of others who feel differently.

What they fail to see, is that Christ and the Church calls us to a life of discipline, not to restrict us or exclude us, but to lead us to a life of happiness. Christ doesn't want us to be disciplined for His sake, but for ours. Lack of discipline leads to slavery. I used the example of an alcoholic in my youth group meeting. No one wakes up in the morning and says "I want to be an alcoholic!" But, through a lack of discipline in their alcohol consumption, alcoholics eventually become addicted to it and slaves to it. You can take that same analogy and apply it to any vice--money, sex, drugs, etc. Without rules--without discipline--there is no freedom.

The Catholic Church is not irrelevant. The rules in place are there for a reason. The Church calls us to a life of discipline to free us from the bonds of sin. The more I come to understand the things the Catholic Church teaches the more I see that living a life of discipline is an important aspect in our faith journey. Now, if only I could be more disciplined...

Thank God For Our Priests!

This year in the Catholic Church is "The Year for Priests." I've spent a lot of time thinking about the priesthood over the years. Our priests are, for the most part, wonderful men of God who are trying to lead others closer to Christ. And they don't get enough credit. Take a moment and think about the priests that are in your life--both past and present. I know, for myself, I have oftentimes been critical of the priests that I have come across in my life. I have not given them enough credit. I have criticized them for the way they say the Mass. I have criticized them for having too much of a focus on money--and not enough of a focus on faith. I do not give them the benefit of the doubt.

Our priests work hard. They have a lot on their plates. They are charged with "running the business" of the parish in addition to feeding the spiritual needs of their flock. This is not an easy task. Their jobs are often 24/7. They sacrifice an awful lot and get very little in turn. All we do is ask them for more and criticize them for what they are doing.

My perspective on the priesthood has changed over the years. Working in a parish full time has helped to change my perspective. The priests I work with in my parishes truly are wonderful men. We need to thank the priests in our lives. They sacrifice much more than their vows call for. They deserve our love. They deserve our respect. They deserve our gratitude--regardless of how you feel they run the parish or say the Mass. Do you think you could do all they do and hold it together as well as they do? I don't think I could.

They deserve our prayers.

Prayer for Priests taken from the USCCB.
Dear Lord,
we pray that the Blessed Mother
wrap her mantle around your priests
and through her intercession
strengthen them for their ministry.
We pray that Mary will guide your priests
to follow her own words,
“Do whatever He tells you” (Jn 2:5).
May your priests have the heart of St. Joseph,
Mary’s most chaste spouse.
May the Blessed Mother’s own pierced heart
inspire them to embrace
all who suffer at the foot of the cross.
May your priests be holy,
filled with the fire of your love
seeking nothing but your greater glory
and the salvation of souls.
Amen.
Saint John Vianney, pray for us.

I'm Too Busy....

I'm just too busy. I'm too busy to take care of my self physically. I don't often eat healthy. I don't exercise or get enough sleep. I'm just too busy.

I'm too busy to nurture the relationships in my life. I'm too busy to spend good, quality time with my wife. I'm too busy to play with my kids. I'm too busy to mend the broken relationships with my siblings and my parents. I just don't have time to give the love that my family deserves.

I'm too busy to develop my mind. I don't have time to sit down and read a book or article that will stretch me intellectually--that will help expand my world view and give a clearer picture of life.

I'm too busy to pray. I don't take the time I need to spend in silence talking with God. I am too busy to find a spiritual director. Even if I did have one, I'd be too busy to receive the much needed direction.

What am I too busy doing? I don't know. I'm too busy keeping busy. God gives us enough time every day to do the things He wants us to do. Why do I find it difficult to take care of myself physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually? Why do I find it difficult to find the time to do what God wants me to do? Because I'm too busy doing what I want to do.

What are you too busy doing?

Heavenly Father, Give me the grace to see what you want me to do. Give me the strength to give up what I want to do and, instead, to do what you want me to do. For it is in doing your will that I will find the time to do what needs to be done. It is in doing your will that I will find true happiness.

“Lack of prayer is the cause of lack of time.” – Peter Kreeft

Help the Vocation Crisis By Encouraging Marriage!

For many years the leadership of the Catholic Church in America (and perhaps elsewhere) have been talking about the crisis in vocations to the priesthood and religious life. In the conversation to address the issue of the crisis in the priesthood, there have been many suggestions made. Stepping up the campaign to recruit good men, allowing priests to marry, and allowing women to become priests have been popular ideas floating around. While there are people that have strong arguments on both sides of the married priest and female priest debate, I'm not going to address this debate now. If you want to know my views on women priests, you can read my post on why women can't be priests. There is one idea that I have heard that I feel needs more attention, and that is encouraging marriage.

When I first heard of the idea of promoting marriage as a way to increase celibate vocations, I didn't understand the connection between the two. I mean, how can a marriage encourage celibacy? It just didn't make sense to me. But I heard this idea from several sources. So I spent some time thinking about it, and it started to make sense. Marriage and holy orders are both vocations--they both are a commitment. They are both covenants: marriage a covenant between man, woman, and God and holy orders a covenant between man, the Church, and God.

Marriage is also in a crisis, like holy orders. Fewer and fewer people are choosing to get married. And for those of that do decide to marry, many of those marriages end in divorce. People are no longer making the commitment to married life. Many Catholics are no longer taking this sacrament seriously. However, people are still having children. And we have (and are continuing to) raise a culture of children that does not understand the commitment to a vocation because they don't see it modeled in their own lives.

If we, as a culture, aren't making a commitment to the vocation, the sacrament, of marriage, how can we expect our children to make that commitment as well? We need to model that committed behavior in our lives, in our relationship with our spouses. If we can address the marriage crisis by encouraging strong and committed marriages, our children will understand that vocations require commitment. And if we strive for holiness in our marriages then our children will see the importance of holiness, and hopefully strive for it themselves.

It is not celibacy or a male-only priesthood that is at the heart of our crisis in vocations to the priesthood. It is lack of commitment to vocation. If we don't model a commitment to our marriage vocation then our children won't be committed to their vocation--whether it be priesthood or marriage.

The Eucharist: God Knows What He is Doing!

....not that I'm one to question God. I've always believed in the Real Presence in the Eucharist. But not everyone does. Many people doubt and outright deny the Real Presence. Sadly, there are even some Catholics who doubt that God knows what He is doing when it comes to the Eucharist.

A big part of the Catholic argument for the Real Presence has always been "The Bread of Life Discourse" in the Gospel of John (Jn. 6:22-71). Here we have Jesus telling his disciples that "unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day" (v. 53-54). Christ felt that what he was saying was so important that he stated it twice. He wanted his disciples to understand this. Christ is saying that we must eat his flesh and drink his blood. This is not a metaphor for the bible. The bible is not the Bread of Life, Christ is! Why would the disciples say this if Jesus were only speaking metaphorically: "This saying is hard; who can accept it?" Why did Jesus respond with this if he was speaking metaphorically: "Does this shock you?" Why would the disciples be shocked if all Christ was saying was to metaphorically "eat" His words. Did the disciples just not understand what Christ was saying? I don't think so. I think they understood all too well, and that is why "as a result of this, many [of] his disciples returned to their former life and no longer accompanied him." I think Christ's disciples understood that we needed to eat His flesh and drink His blood in order to obtain eternal life. That is why it was hard for them to accept. That is why they were shocked. That is why many of them left. But I digress....

God truly does know what He is doing! Many events in Christ's life leading up to this moment, this Bread of Life Discourse, foreshadow this event--from the multiplication of the loaves, to the wedding at Cana, to even Christ's birth. Yes, even Christ's birth. I recently read a reflection from Archbishop Timothy Dolan that helped me to understand that even Christ's birth is a foreshadowing of Christ's institution of the Eucharist.

Dolan points out that Jesus was born in a stable and placed in a manger. And what is a manger? A manger is a feeding trough. The Son of Man, at birth, was placed in a food container. The Bread of Life was placed on a dish. God has a perfect plan for our salvation. Everything that has, is, and will occur in the world is a part of that plan. The Eucharist is a part of His plan. God truly does know what He is doing! I just pray that I can trust and believe.

I Love My Wife

Love is not a feeling. As Kari and I celebrate 13 years of marriage this weekend, I have been reflecting on this statement quite a bit. It is something that I have learned the hard way--and am still learning to this day.

(Photo of us taken just prior to our courtship)

We got married at a relatively young age, I was 22 and she was 21. We were still just kids ourselves. We hardly knew what love was. I was still in college and working as a department manager at Barnes & Noble making just $7.50 per hour. She had a job working as a trainer for a clothing and housewares catalog making slightly more than me. Although no one said so, I imagine many people thought that we were crazy to get married so young and with such a meager income. Some people may have even thought that our marriage wouldn't last.

To be honest, there were times in our marriage, especially early on, that I also thought our marriage wouldn't last. It was during that time in our life where I (possibly both of us) thought that love was a feeling. When we first started dating, like most couples, our relationship was driven by our feelings. Kari made me feel good about myself. I felt happy, confident, and "loved"

when I was near her.

After our marriage those feelings started to fade--as is normal for all long-term relationships. However, I had not realized that love was not a feeling. I wanted those feelings back. We fought often and our marriage really struggled. We thought about and talked about separating--about divorce. Even though we talked about divorce, it was never a real option for us. We were both committed to our marriage and wanted to make it work--for better or for worse.

So we worked through our issues. And our relationship strengthened. And then we worked through more issues. And our relationship strengthened. And then some more...even to today. Now don't get me wrong, we don't have a broken marriage. We have a very normal marriage. Every couple deals with issues in their marriage. The committed and loving couple works through those issues instead of giving up at the first sign of distress. This is what love is. Love is commitment. Love is willing the good of another. Love is dialogue. Love is selfless.

(Kari and I today)

So, as I reflect on the past 13 years, I realize that I am truly blessed. I am blessed with a job that I love. I am blessed with 5 beautiful and wonderful children. Most of all, I am blessed to have Kari in my life. I am blessed to have learned what love is with her at my side as an example of love. I am thankful to the Lord for giving us the strength to work together in overcoming all the obstacles that life brings us. And now I know what love is.

Eating Garbage

Over the past couple of months, with the birth of our fifth child, illness, and broken limbs, my wife and I have dished out an enormous amount of money to the medical community (NO! This is not going to be a post about the current health care "crisis"). While we live in a one income household (and a meager income at that) and the expenses we have could be a great concern for us, it is not.We're not concerned in part because of this...

We don't have to eat anyone else's leftovers. We do not have to worry about where our next meal is going to come from or whether or not we are going to have a roof over our head. Yes, it is difficult to do so, but all the medical bills get paid. The utilities, the mortgage, and the grocery bills get paid as well. There may not be much left over, but all of our basic needs are taken care of. I am forever grateful for that.

Issues of money and poverty are one of my passions. Before youth ministry, I came from an industry that was all about money--and making more of it. I'm not criticizing the financial services industry or financial advisors. I have nothing wrong with people planning for their future financially. It is a very smart thing to do. But the problem I have is when the pursuit of money becomes the sole focus in people's lives. I have seen the ravenous pursuit of wealth and possessions and it sickens me, particularly when I see videos like the one above.

Many people may see the video above or images of starving children in Africa and they may be moved by what they see. Some people may actually reach out and do something to help those in poor countries. But many of us look at these images and don't make the connection on a deep level. We cannot relate to what we see because it is too distant for us. As a result, although we want to help out, we don't.

However, the problem isn't just in Africa. It's not just in Asia. The problem of poverty is also in our own back yards. We don't have to go far to reach out to someone in need. It may be the homeless guy on the street. It may be a co-worker. It may be a classmate. We may not be able to do much, but we can do something--even if it is packing a lunch for the homeless man or woman you see on your way to work every day, or buying a struggling co-worker or classmate lunch from time to time.

We all can make an effort to do something. We don't have to do much (although the more we do the better). Reach out to someone in need today. Make a positive impact on the life of someone--even if it is just praying for someone who is struggling. And if you have the resources to do more, then do it. Don't worry so much about the future. Focus on the needs of others today.

Tracking Virtue, Conquering Vice--A Book Review

When I was trying to find a new book to review for The Catholic Company, I came across Tracking Virtue, Conquering Vice by Rev. Joseph E. Classen. What initially attracted me to this book was not the hunting and fishing exploits of Fr. Joe. I am certainly not an outdoorsman. I've never been hunting and the last time I went fishing was....well I can't remember when. I don't even own a gun. What intrigued me about this book was the author. When I saw Fr. Joe's name listed as the author, my mental rolodex started spinning. I kept trying to figure out where I had heard that name before. Then it finally dawned on me. I was in the seminary with Fr. Joe! And, he and I went to the same high school. Even after realizing that I knew Fr. Joe, I still had reservations about reading his book. I just don't have any interest in hunting and fishing and I did not think that I would get much out of it or enjoy reading it.

I decided to order a copy anyway. I was pleasantly surprised! Fr. Joe is a brilliant story teller. I felt like I was right there with him as I read the stories of his hunting and fishing expeditions. He has had some amazing adventures and tells his stories in an entertaining way. It almost made me want to go out and buy a compound bow to do some deer hunting.....almost.

In addition to being a great story teller, Fr. Joe does a fantastic job at helping his readers see the vices that they have in their own lives and how to overcome them with virtue. So often when we think of the vices of gluttony, greed, envy, etc. we don't see ourselves as being guilty of them. Fr. Joe makes the connection between these vices and human behavior that may be sinful. He also gives us practical advice on how to overcome these vices with virtue.

I highly recommend anyone who wants to grow in virtue to pick up a copy of Fr. Joe's book, whether or not you are an outdoorsman. You will come away with the inspiration to become a better person.

(Required FTC mumbo jumbo: I received this book free in return for giving an honest review of it.)

News Flash: Our Culture Is Telling Us to Jump Over Lakes In Motorcycles

At one of my recent high school youth group meetings I had the opportunity to ask the teens the following question: "What is our culture telling us?" After I posed this question, immediately one eager gentleman raised his hand. I called on him and he asked me the question, "Is MTV our culture?" I responded that MTV is most certainly a part of his culture. I asked him, "What is MTV telling you?" I eagerly anticipated his response. I knew that anything from MTV would be an opportunity to tell the teens how our culture is oftentimes a bad example of how we should live our lives. His response was, "MTV is telling us to jump over lakes in motorcycles!" I thought "This is not the answer I was expecting" as the whole group began to laugh at his response.

After the laughter died down, a bright young lady raised her hand. I called on her and asked her what our culture is telling her. Her response, also not one I expected, was somewhat more deep and thought provoking. She responded with, "Our culture is telling us that it is O.K. to be a failure." Wow! I was floored by her response. I am frequently amazed by the teens I work with. They often have as much to teach me as I have to teach them, and this was one of those times. Our culture does say that it is acceptable to fail.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't believe that it is unacceptable to fail. Lord knows, I have failed many, many times in my life. It is perfectly alright, and natural, to fail, but we need to pick ourselves back up and try again. However this is not what our culture is telling us. Our culture is saying that it is O.K. to fail, because there will be someone else there to pick up your slack. It is O.K. to fail in school, because you are going to move on to the next grade anyway. It is O.K. to fail in life, because the government, or some other entity, will come in to take care of you. Our government will come in and "bail out" anyone who does fail. This is what our culture is telling us.

This line of thought is just wrong, and if we continue down this path we will raise a generation of teens who will grow up and expect someone to fix their problems and failures. If someone comes in and "fixes" our failures then we as individuals have learned nothing about life. We will continue to fail because we will not have learned from our failures. We will also become unnecessarily dependent on others. This is not what Christ intends for us.

Christ gave us a free will to choose what we want in life. If we so choose, we can allow ourselves to fail in life and let others "bail out" our failures. However, Christ wants us to choose to pick ourselves up after our failures and try again. He knows that we will make mistakes and fails. He also understands that it is though our failures that we learn and grow. He doesn't want us to depend unnecessarily on others. He wants us to depend on Him. It is only through depending on Christ that we ultimately find success in this life and the next.

Sacrificial Love

In my work as a youth minister, I come across some pretty deep and theological things. As I was doing some prep work today for a future meeting, I came across this quote from Pope John Paul II:

Love is not merely a feeling. It is an act of the will that consists of preferring in a constant manner the good of others to the good of oneself.

Wow! What a convicting statement! If I am to love others I then need to prefer the good of others over myself. I need to be willing to sacrifice myself, to let go of my desires, and to give to others without question. I love my wife, I love my children, I love my extended family and friends, but do I really and truly prefer their good over mine? Unfortunately the answer to that is, oftentimes, no.

Reflecting on this brings to mind last Sunday's Gospel reading from Mark where the rich young man wants to know what it takes to inherit eternal life. Jesus' answer to him was to "Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." (Mark 10:21). Taken at the surface, this passage is telling us to give up all of our earthly attachments, to sacrifice earthly wealth and possessions. But taking this passage deeper, we get to the heart of what Christ is calling us to--and that calling is to love.

We need to be willing to do more than just give up our earthly possessions for others. What Christ is calling us to do is to prefer the will of others over our own wills. Preferring the will of others changes the dynamic; it changes our attitude toward sacrifice. Just giving up our will for others involves an attitude of sacrifice. There is nothing wrong with sacrifice. In fact, sacrifice is necessary and important. It's our attitude about sacrifice that needs to change. Giving up our will has negative connotations, which makes sacrifice more difficult for us to do.

However, if we prefer the will of others over our own, then sacrifice becomes much easier. If we prefer to give our money to the poor rather than buying a fancy new entertainment system, then the decision to sacrifice our wills is much easier. Christ wasn't telling the rich young man to give up all his wealth because there was some poor person that needed his money. He was telling the rich young man how to love--that is, he was telling the rich young man that he needed to prefer the will of others over his own.

Christ himself preferred the will of others over his own. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for all of us through his crucifixion. Christ, in his humanness, didn't want to die, but he understood love. And that love required his death in order for us to have life. I hope and pray that someday (soon!) I may be able to understand love like Christ does.

Catholic Speaker Month--Matthew Kelly

When I heard that Matthew Warner over at Fallible Blogma wanted to create a "Catholic Speaker Month" movement to feature Catholic speakers across the blogosphere, I jumped on it. I thought it was a fantastic idea to get the word out about all of the wonderful Catholic speakers that our country has to offer. And if you are a regular reader of my blog, you can probably guess who I picked (since I quote him often)--Matthew Kelly.

As a note of disclosure--I haven't heard Matthew Kelly speak...yet, but I'm working on it. However that wasn't a requirement to feature a Catholic speaker. The whole idea is to get the word out about them. I am familiar with him, though, having read his book Rediscovering Catholicism. This is a fantastic book about the Catholic faith, and if you haven't read it yet, I suggest picking up a copy of it. This is such a great book that I am using it as a part of my high school youth ministry curriculum.

But this is not a post about featuring the best Catholic authors (maybe Matthew Warner could do that next), it's a post about the best Catholic speakers. First a little bio, taken from www.matthewkelly.org,

Matthew Kelly was born in Sydney, Australia, on July 12, 1973. Over the past ten years more than three million people in fifty countries have attended his talks, seminars, and retreats. Against the backdrop of his travel to fifty countries, millions more have been touched by his writings and appearances on radio and television programs.

Both as a speaker and as an author, Kelly possesses a powerful ability to combine the ageless tool of storytelling with a profound understanding of today's culture and the common yearnings of the human heart. As a result he captures our imaginations and helps us to see the challenges and opportunities of our everyday lives in a new light. With a keen sense of humor and heartwarming charm, Kelly seems to effortlessly elevate and energize people to pursue the highest values of the human spirit and become "the-best-version-of-themselves."

I know several people who have seen Matthew Kelly speak, and every one of them say that he is a wonderful speaker and full of life. He is passionate about his mission and delivers his message in a way that draws people in and gets them as excited and passionate as he is.

Matthew Kelly speaks on a range of topics but most often he centers on the idea of encouraging people to"become the best-version-of-themselves". When I first heard him talk about this idea in Rediscovering Catholicism, I thought that it was a little "self-helpish". (I have no respect for the self-help industry, as it seems to be trying to convince people that they can improve themselves without the help of anyone else--including the grace of God) However, after reading further, I discovered that Matthew Kelly believes (and I agree!) that the way that we all can become the best version of ourselves is through our faith in Christ, and that the Catholic Church holds the Love and the Truths that allow us to become the best version of ourselves.

Matthew Kelly is a wonderful and passionate speaker and author. If you have the opportunity to hear him speak, either live or on CD, or read one of his books, I strongly encourage you to do so.

By the way....If you are a Catholic blogger yourself, there are still speakers available. Head on over to fallibleblogma.com today and pick one out, even if you don't know any of them! The whole idea behind this is to get the word out about Catholic speakers.

Training for Devotion

My mom took my name, Timothy Daniel, from the bible. She chose my name at a time in her life where, as she tells me, she wasn't even going to church, much less picking up a bible. But for some reason, when she was trying to decide on my name, she picked it up. It is that reason that St. Paul's letters to Timothy have always held a special place in my heart. Every time I read them I am affected by them in some way. They seem relevant to my life. It's been a while since I read those letters to Timothy, so I picked my bible up today and began reading Paul's 1st Letter to Timothy. And, again, I was moved by what I read.

The passage that struck me today is from the 4th chapter of that first letter:

Avoid profane and silly myths. Train yourself for devotion, for, while physical training is of limited value, devotion is valuable in every respect, since it holds a promise of life both for the present and for the future. (1 Tim 4:7-8)

After I read that passage, I started reflecting on what devotion means and how I can train myself for it.

There are, in actuality, several ways we need to show devotion in our lives, each of them important. The first way we show devotion is in our work--our jobs and our schooling. We show this devotion by doing our jobs to the best of our abilities and making the best of all situations we encounter in our work, whether good or bad.

The second form of devotion that we need to show is with our children, if blessed to have them. We need to be a committed and devoted parents. We need to make ourselves available to them when they need us. The discipline we give our children needs to be done out of love and not out of our selfishness. This devotion is more important than our careers, and we need to remember that. We need to be willing to have a balance between our devotion to work and our devotion to our children. And we need to make our employers aware that our family is important and sometimes has to come before our jobs.

The third devotion we need to have in our lives is to our spouses. This one is the most critical and most important of our "earthly" devotions. We made a commitment to our spouses when we said those vows, when we entered into the Sacrament of Matrimony. We need to uphold that commitment, that covenant that was made. This devotion needs to take priority over both our jobs and our children. If we let this devotion fall between the cracks then our families, and possibly our careers and lives, will fall apart. We need to spend time with our spouses--talking with them, and not just about the weather or the football game. We need to open our hearts and souls to our spouses and share our joys, our fears, our insecurities with them. This is particularly difficult for me to do. But I find that when I am successful in opening up to my wife it truly does deepen my love for and devotion to her.

The final--and by far the most important--devotion is our devotion to our faith--our devotion to Christ. Without Christ in our lives we can do nothing. Just as St. Paul said, "physical training is of limited value, devotion is valuable in every respect, since it holds a promise of life both for the present and for the future." Placing our hope, our devotion, in Christ, we are enabled to be devoted to our spouses, our children, and our jobs. We cannot be truly devoted to anything if we are not first devoted to Christ. Everything else falls apart with out Him.

So, we need to "train" ourselves for devotion. We need to put forth our best efforts in our jobs. We need to spend time with our children. We need to pour out our hearts to our spouses. And, most importantly, we need to pray. How does one "train" himself in these devotions? We do as any good athlete would. We practice. And then we practice some more. The best athletes are the ones who are deeply committed to their sport. If we can be deeply committed to just one of these devotions in our lives--our devotion to Christ--then all of the other devotions we have in our lives will fall into place naturally.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Are you happy? No, seriously! Think about it. Are you truly happy? Hopefully your answer is yes. If you are happy, where does your happiness come from? What makes you happy? Is it your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend? Is it your job? Is it your car, the size of your house, the things that are in it? Does money make you happy? If you have all these things and they make you happy, then good for you! You are a happy person! Now let me ask you another question....

Are you truly happy with your earthly possessions, happy enough that you don't desire more? Does that happiness you get from the things and people in your lives truly fulfill you--permanently, or do you have to keep filling your house with more stuff to stay happy?

One of my favorite movies is The Pursuit of Happyness. Watch the clip from the movie below about happiness.



For those of you who haven't seen this movie, it's a true story about Chris Gardner, a down and out father who is trying to raise his son after his wife leaves him. Chris struggles to make ends meet for his son. At one point in the movie, as Chris is trying to get a job with a major financial advisory firm, he ends up homeless. But Chris doesn't give up. Chris has a goal. He has a vision. Chris is pursuing happiness.

At first glance, you may think that Chris is pursuing happiness in money, fame and possessions. That's because Hollywood glosses over a very important aspect of Chris' life--his faith. In an interview after the movie was released Chris said, "My faith is one of the strongest guiding forces in my life." Chris is a man of faith. His pursuit of happiness is sought through his faith, not earthly possessions. He also stated that "Money is the least important component of wealth." Chris' plan for wealth and happiness includes faith, it includes prayer. Wealth is found in your faith, not your possessions or bank account.

There is also another important component of the pursuit of happiness--and that is discipline. Many people think that a life of discipline (of following rules and guidelines) is stifling and restrictive--that it keeps us from doing what we want to do. They think that discipline will keep them from being happy. Chris Gardner was extremely disciplined in his pursuit of the job as a broker. Did it restrict his happiness and success? Did it stifle him? No, it brought him success. It brought him happiness.

Christ wants us to live a life of discipline, not to stifle and restrict us, but to bring us happiness--to bring us freedom. How does discipline bring us happiness and freedom? Think of an alcoholic. No one wakes up in the morning and says, "I want to be an alcoholic!" (At least not in my experience.) The descent into alcohol abuse, for many, comes from a lack of discipline. This is particularly apparent in teens who grow up to be alcoholics. Many teens start drinking out of rebellion to the rules and restrictions that their parents and the laws put on them. Some people start drinking alcohol because they think it makes them happy. For some, this begins the slow descent into alcoholism. They become slaves to it. They are not free because of their addiction. They are not happy.

God wants us to be happy. Matthew Kelly, in his book, Rediscovering Catholicism, says that "God sent his only Son to respond to humanity's yearning for happiness, and to offer direction in satisfying that yearning...The philosophy of Christ is the ultimate philosophy of human happiness. At the same time, the philosophy of Christ is one of self-donation." The pursuit of true happiness requires self-donation, it requires sacrifice and discipline. It requires faith in Christ. The reward of that faith, sacrifice and self-donation is a peace and happiness beyond our imagination, a happiness that fills us to the core.

I Can Relate to Bob Rice....

I haven't written a blog post in a while, and Bob Rice, a blogger whom I follow, pretty much summed up why in his latest blog post titled Brain Freeze. Yep, I'm feeling it, too!

All Hail the Golden Arches

I was traveling down a major road in my area during evening rush hour and I saw something that is, unfortunately, a common occurrence. There was a line of traffic at the drive through of the McDonald's. In fact, there was so much traffic waiting for the drive through that it was spilling out onto the road. I say that this is unfortunate not because I have animosity towards McDonald's (I love their french fries!), but because we, as Americans, don't make time to sit down to a family meal anymore. Our lives are so over-scheduled (mine included). Between running the kids from one activity to the next, both parents working, and the long hours we have to put into our jobs, there just doesn't seem to be time to sit down and eat together anymore.

My family is in a good situation when it comes to family meals. My wife and I chose to make the sacrifices necessary for her to stay home with our children. So, family meals are served most nights. I also have a flexible work schedule, which allows me to be home with them for most family meals. Oftentimes I have to go back to work after dinner, and am not home as much as I would like to be to support my wife and spend time with my children. But at least I can make it home to dinner most nights. Family mealtime is good for families. Families are healthier when they eat homemade meals together, and not just physically. Families are also healthier emotionally and spiritually through sharing a meal together. A sense of community and belonging comes from sharing this all too important meal together as a family.

There is also another meal that is, in my opinion, more important than family dinners. That meal is the Eucharist, the Mass. The Eucharistic meal is the most important thing we can do for our souls, our families, our communities. If you want a happy, healthy relationship with your spouse, go to Mass together. If you want a happy, healthy relationship with your children, participate in the Eucharist at least weekly with them. If you want to feel an inner peace and joy in your own life, join the community of Catholics at Mass. Don't just go, sit (and stand and kneel) for an hour, and then return home. Don't just go through the "drive through". Get involved! Participate in the Mass. Sing the hymns. PRAY! Stop looking at your watch and actually listen to the readings and the homily. Don't look at what everyone else is wearing or doing, but concentrate on the mystery that is being revealed before your eyes! Christ joins us, physically, in the Mass! He is there! Don't pass up this wonderful opportunity to talk to Him and be with Him. Engage your whole mind, body, and soul in the Mass.

Make the time out of you busy schedules to eat dinner several times a week with your family. Don't just grab McDonald's on the run and scarf it down a you go from one activity to the next, but prepare a meal, sit down around your dining room table, eat, and share. It will transform your family. Likewise, make time to go to Mass at least weekly. And don't just "scarf Christ down" and impatiently wait for the end of Mass so you can get back to your busy schedule. Engage in the Mass. Listen to the prayers being prayed--and pray them yourselves. And don't just bolt for the door as the recessional hymn begins. Take the time to engage with the other members of your church community. Get to know them. Become involved in your church. It will transform your life.

Fire of God's Love Book Review

I need all the help I can get in my prayer life. Oftentimes, it is extremely difficult to focus on prayer without my mind wandering. That is why I picked up a copy of Fire of God's Love: 120 Reflections on the Eucharist. This compilation by Mike Aquilina did the trick. In this book are wonderful reflections on the Eucharist. I take it with me to prayer every day. Some days I read just one reflection and then just meditate on it. Other days, I read several reflections. I am truly amazed by the love for the Eucharist that all those represented in this book had. The authors, saints, and ordinary people that Aquilina include in this book truly had a zeal for the Eucharist.

What I am most impressed by is the Early Christians. They were willing to sacrifice everything just to celebrate the Eucharist. These days, particularly in America, we take the Eucharist for granted. It is there every day if we choose to receive it. I think that we have lost our zeal for the Eucharist. We have lost our passion for our faith.

This is a book that I recommend everyone to read over and over again. It will truly help us to gain a better understanding of the Eucharist. It will also help us to deepen our faith and our prayer life. It will bring back the zeal for our Church and the Eucharist.

You can purchase this book, and others, from The Catholic Company.

Want to Change the Country? Go to Mass!

Everyday these days it seems as though someone is taking a stand. People are screaming from the tops of their lungs about something--health care reform, tax reform, fraud, the environment, racism. But is anyone doing this:

"These persons, being Christians, have held an assembly for the Mass, contrary to the edict of the Emperors Diocletian and Maximian." So read the charges brought forth against a congregation in Abitina in North Africa, in AD 304.
"What is your rank?" asked the proconsul Anulinus of the first prisoner brought to him.
"I'm a senator," replied Davitus.
"Were you there in the assembly?"
"I am a Christian and I was there in the assembly."
Immediate the proconsul ordered him to be suspended on the rack and his body torn by barbed hooks...
Then Saturninus, the priest, was called forward for combat.
The proconsul asked, "Did you, contrary to the orders of the emperors, arrange for these persons to hold an assembly?"
Saturninus replied, "Certainly. We celebrated the Mass."
"Why?"
"Because we cannot live without the Mass."
As soon as he said this, the proconsul ordered him to be immediately put on the rack with Davitus.

~Acts of the Martyrs of Abitina

Americans are in the midst of the battle. We are fighting hard for what we believe in. But none of us are facing the battles the early Christians faced. I wish I had that much zeal for the Mass. These early Christian suffered torture and death just to celebrate the Mass. They sacrificed everything for it! And me, I'm unwilling to sacrifice sleep to go to Mass daily. These early Christians understood the Mass far more than I have ever understood it.

Dr. Scott Hahn, in a talk I went to last year, said that the best thing we can do for our country is go to Mass. If we want to be agents of change in this country, in this world, then we need to get down on our knees and pray. We need to get into church to celebrate and receive the Eucharist. It is the source and summit of our faith. All of the petty issues we deal with every day will fade away with a deep understanding of the Mass and the Eucharist. I pray that I can be more like those martyrs of the early Church.

I Can Walk On Water!

One of my favorite bible passages is from Matthew. It is the passage where Jesus walks on water and Peter attempted to walk to Christ on the water (Matthew 14:22-33). Growing up Catholic and going to a Catholic grade school, I heard this passage many, many times. I never thought much of it other than the fact that Jesus was God and Peter wasn't and that is why Peter couldn't walk on water.

When I was in high school a priest led me and others in a guided meditation of this passage while we were on a retreat. He had us close our eyes and imagine the scene in our minds. He then reread the passage, but this time he wanted us to imagine ourselves as Peter getting out of the boat and walking to Christ on the water. This was a very powerful experience for me. It was powerful because as I was imagining myself standing in the boat and Christ calling to me to walk to him I was frozen in fear. I couldn't get out of the boat. I didn't trust myself. More importantly, I didn't trust God. Tears started flowing down my face as I struggled with this fear. This meditation was the beginning of my faith journey. Sure I went to Catholic school. I went to Mass every week, but my faith meant nothing more to me than that. I began my journey in trust that week.

So, here I am, 19 years later. Have I trusted Christ throughout the past two decades? Sometimes, yes, but mostly no. It is extremely difficult to give your life away. Christ wants to lead us to so many wonderful and beautiful things. We just need to let go of our fears, let go of what WE want, and trust Him. We need to get out of the boat and walk to Him, knowing that we won't sink. I trust Christ more now than I did. I've learned that His ways are better than mine. I've learned to go. Every once in a while, I'll look away from Christ as Peter did and start to sink into the water. But as long as I keep my eyes focused on Him, I can walk on water. And you can, too!

Faith and Works

I haven't been as consistent putting up new blog posts lately as I would like to be. This is the result of a couple of things. First of all, these past couple of months have been pretty crazy around my house. We welcomed our fifth child into the world, our 4 year old started pre-school, our oldest daughter's 11th birthday is this week (and with it a birthday party), and the youth ministry program that I run began it's fall semester. Add to that the fact that I work a part time job in addition to my full time youth ministry job and there hasn't been much time for anything else, including prayer. Prayer is the second reason why I haven't been posting lately, because most of my posts come as a result of prayer. I also haven't been handling the craziness of my life well. I've been short with my children, Kari and I haven't connected on an emotional level in a while, and my job has been overwhelming me.

Then I went to Mass today and listened to the second reading from James:

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith same him? If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well," but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is it? So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead. Indeed someone might say, "You have faith and I have works." Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works. (James 2:14-18)

I started thinking about the whole faith vs. works debate that has been going on between Catholics and other Christians for centuries. Many Christians believe that all you need is faith, and that works are not necessary to obtain eternal salvation. Catholics, on the other hand, believe that faith without works is not enough to get to heaven. I began thinking about how this applies to my life, particularly the past couple of months.

I have always tried to integrate both faith and works into my life. However over the past couple of months, I've been so focused on the "works" that I have neglected my faith. I haven't been very consistent in my prayer, and when I do make an effort to pray, I'm distracted and it's not fruitful. This lack of faith has had a negative impact on the works in my life. I'm not spending time with God in prayer and it has affected my attitude. I'm less patient with my children. Kari and I used to pray together every night and we haven't been doing that lately due to the changes we've experienced in our lives. This has affected our relationship. We don't feel the emotional connection we used to feel. Part of this is due to the overwhelming transition of adding a new child to the family, but our lack of couple prayer has also impacted our relationship. I feel overwhelmed at work because I haven't been taking my ministry to prayer. Faith is absolutely necessary for works to be done well. I have experienced this in my own life.

I also feel that I need to address the faith without works issue as well. Christ's call to all Christians is a call to faith and action. Faith without action is useless. Think about it this way. You are a strong Christian with a strong faith. You come across a homeless person. If you live by faith alone, you do not feel that you need to help that person in order to get into heaven. You may help him or her anyway, because you are a good person, but you don't feel the need to do so. In my opinion, if you don't need to help that person, you are less inclined to do so. Some Christian faiths even go so far as to say, "If that homeless person had more faith, he wouldn't be homeless. God would give him what he needed if he just had more faith." God provides all of us with everything we need. It is our responsibility to reach out and help those that are less fortunate that cannot, through no fault of their own, help themselves. It is through reaching out to and helping others that we strengthen our own faith. I have seen this in my own life. My faith is strengthened in my reaching out to help others in my ministry.

Faith and works is necessary in our adventure to salvation. Doing good works strengthens our faith and having strong faith strengthens our good works. I know, for myself, I need to get back to good, fruitful prayer so that I can strengthen my works.

"TVholics" Anonymous

"My name is Tim and I'm a TVholic. It's been 3 1/2 years since I last viewed TV." (Roar of applause from the crowd)

My wife and I made a decision for our family several years ago. We decided that we needed to give something up as a family for Lent. We talked about giving up sweets as a family, giving up snacks between meals, and giving up video games (great idea, but not everyone in the family played video games, so that one wouldn't work). We ultimately decided to give up TV for Lent. Forty days with no television. At the time it seemed like a daunting task. Could we do it? We thought so. We would hold each other accountable and promise to not turn the television on. And we succeeded! We made it 40 days with absolutely no television. Then another question emerged as we entered Easter season. Do we turn the TV back on? We decided not to, so we canceled our cable subscription. Money was tight anyway (isn't it always?) and we could use the few extra bucks a month it cost for more worthy causes, like food!

And so for nearly 4 years now we have been virtually TV free now. We occasionally turned the TV on to watch American Idol or a baseball game through the fuzzy reception our antennae gave us, but now with the conversion to digital we've gone completely dark (no digital ready TV set in my house). From time to time someone will ask me if I saw a particular news program or television show. I always answer, "No, we don't watch TV at my house." I get a range of reactions from looks that say "you're nuts!" to "I could never do that!" (You are probably having a similar reaction right now!)

You know what, I don't miss it. Not one bit! I never noticed before, but I was addicted to television. I became addicted to TV as a child. I realize this now when I sing a jingle from a commercial or talk about a show from my childhood and my wife has no idea what I'm talking about. We grew up in the same generation, but apparently she did not watch nearly as much television as I did.

I also realize now how much of a negative impact the television had on my marriage and family. The TV use to be continually on in my house, at least when I was home. I rarely got on the floor and wrestled with my children. I rarely read to them, or had them read to me. I barely ever interacted with them. "Couple time" with me and my wife consisted of putting the kids to bed, watching the news, Leno or Letterman, and then Conan O'Brien (we've always been night owls).

Our family life is dramatically different now. Sure, there are still times when I dismiss my kids when they ask me to play with them or read to them, but I'm much more likely to take time to spend with them now. I actually enjoy spending time with my kids, wrestling with them or playing board games. My marriage has improved. Now, instead of turning on the television when we put the kids down, my wife and I actually talk to each other! And you know what, I keep rediscovering why I fell in love with her! Eliminating my addiction to television has improved my life, my marriage, and my family.

I want to challenge you. Take a break from your television as a family. Don't just do it for a day, or for a week. Turn it off for a whole month! And don't wait until Lent to start. Start today. I guarantee you will see a difference in your family and your marriage. Then come back after a month and leave a comment on what difference it has made.

Reasons to Believe....

I read this today and had to share it.....

Clearly I had good reasons for believing....I could see that everyone--my parents, my big brothers and sisters, all the strange crowds that filled out church on Sunday--had known the wonderful secret I had learned, and believed it too. Anyone could see how sure they were, especially when the Eucharist was held up before them at the altar. Most of them were saying quietly, "My Lord and my God," the very words my mother told me to say.
For it made sense of so much. If God made us, and all things, he had to stick with us in this wonderful and dangerous world. Of course, like all little boys, I loved this strange world. But already I had learned how fragile it is: when our dog died; when I got a bad ear ache and could not understand it; when a greatuncle died. In this puzzling world, we needed to know just where the Lord is. God is everywhere, but Jesus, God who became our brother, and bears divinity with human approachability, is right here...
Now that I am a priest, and say Mass for crowds of people, I see how calm and deep is the faith of the great numbers who crowd into church every Sunday.
When I raise the host that has become the body of Jesus our Savior, I realize that they are adoring him as willingly as I do. When I raise the chalis that holds his precious blood, which was shed to save the world, their faith supports my own. Then it is a great joy to cry out: "Let us proclaim the mystery of faith!" This faith is not a burden: it lifts us up.

~Ronald Lawler, O.F.M. CAP.