Where Do We Start? Thoughts On Stewardship

I attended a meeting the other day. It was a gathering of the heads of the different ministries for one of the two parishes I work for. The focus of the meeting was to present--and brainstorm--ideas on how we can, as a parish, increase participation in the different ministries of service that the parish currently has. We are looking for a way to increase the stewardship of time and talent in the parish. A lot of good ideas were discussed. We discussed having a ministry fair, a "Ministry Sunday" once a month where one of the ministries of the parish is highlighted, ministry nights for the parents of the Early Childhood Center and Religious Education, and many other good ideas. At the end of the meeting some time was set aside, as with all discussions about stewardship, for a discussion on money. Overall, it was a productive meeting. We came up with many ideas to try to increase the participation of time, talent, and, of course, treasure from the parishioners of the parish.

As I was sitting there, listening to what the parish stewardship committee head was presenting, I started thinking that we have it all backwards--that we, as a Church in the U.S. (not just this parish, but many parishes) oftentimes have it backwards. There is such a focus on service and on social justice--almost too much of a focus. Don't get me wrong. It is important to serve. There are many wonderful ministries at the parishes I work for, and all parishes, that do great work at supporting the church, it's parishioners, and those in the community around the parish. We need that. It is a necessary, and important, part of our Catholic faith. But, we have it backwards. We focus so much on service that we forget something very important. We are, first and foremost, a community of faith. We are so busy nurturing the corporal needs of our parishes and communities that we oftentimes neglect the spiritual needs.

We are losing Catholics. Many are leaving the Catholic Church to go to other Christian churches. Some just stop going to church altogether. I believe that most lost Catholics still sit in our pews, coming back week after week to fulfill their Sunday obligation. We can talk until we are blue in the face, coming up with idea after idea on how to get these lost Catholics to participate with more time, talent, and treasure. We can put on the greatest festival that money can buy to try to highlight the different ministries and increase participation in those ministries. But those lost Catholics, the ones that are filling up our pews week after week, won't participate. They won't participate because they don't care.

Why don't they care? They don't care because they are not engaged in their faith. They don't understand the importance of a personal relationship with Jesus. They don't understand how to have a personal relationship with Jesus. They have no passion for their faith.

People give to their passions. They give of their time. They give of their talent. They give of their treasure. Look at a parent who has a child with autism. That parent becomes passionate about the cause for finding a cure for autism. Or a husband who lost his wife to breast cancer. He becomes passionate about the fight to find a cure. These people are passionate about these causes because they are personally affected by them. If we, as a Church, take time to nurture a personal faith relationship with Christ then Catholics will give of their time, talent, and yes, treasure.

In addition to not caring because they are not engaged in their faith, there is another reason why these lost Catholics don't give of their time, talent, and treasure. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say that about 40% of Catholics filling the pews across the U.S. are walking around with empty cups. They have nothing to give. Another 50% of Catholics have half full cups. They have a little bit to give but are unwilling to give anything for fear of losing what little they have.

I have found in my own job of serving the youth of two parishes that if I have a half full cup or an empty cup that I am ineffective as a youth minister. I cannot give to the youth what I do not have. Unless I have an overflowing cup, I cannot be a good servant to anyone--my wife, my kids, or the parishes I serve.

How does one obtain an overflowing cup? There is only one way to fill a cup to overflowing, and that is through a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Unless and until we spend time every day with Jesus in prayer and dialogue we will never fill our cups.

I said earlier that we, as a Church in the U.S., oftentimes have it backwards. Instead of focusing on service, instead of focusing on increasing participation in these ministries of service, we need to first focus on faith formation. We need to help these lost Catholics in the pews to understand their faith. Remember, it was not until the Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles in the upper room that they were able to go out and serve. The same holds true for the Church today. We need to invite the Holy Spirit to descend upon our parishes through providing opportunities for faith formation for all ages--youth and adult. When we invite the Spirit into our churches then, and only then, will we be empowered to give of our time, talent, and treasure. We will engage the disengaged. We will find the lost Catholics.

Our Kids Are Hungry!

Our kids are hungry. I saw this first hand last week. I was conducting a high school youth group meeting using the Theology of the Body for Teens curriculum by Ascension Press when what I had originally planned was derailed. I decided to scrap my original plan of watching the video when I was hammered with question after question  from the teens. They were not disrespectful or argumentative in their questioning. They weren't even questioning my authority or the authority of the Church. They were lost and confused and in search of the truth. They were asking questions about love and sexuality. They also went beyond the topic of the night and asked questions about faith and morality in general. They are hungry for the truth.

We, as a Church, have failed our kids. We have failed to teach our children the truth. Some of us have kept our mouths shut because we don't want to push our beliefs on anyone. We are afraid to offend people.  We want our kids to "make their own decisions", yet we don't don't give them the opportunity to make a decision. We just allow our culture to make their decisions for them. Some of us are afraid to stand up for the truth. Some of us don't even understand the truth ourselves. Whatever the reason, we have created a generation of teens that are lost and confused, being sent mixed messages from our culture and, yes, from our Church.

This generation of teens is more lost and confused than any previous generation. Yet, I am hopeful. I am hopeful because they are questioning. I am hopeful because I do see a hunger in them for the Truth. We need to help them see the Truth. We need to know and understand the truth of our Catholic faith ourselves. We need to ask the same questions the teens are asking. We need to be as hungry as they are in finding the Truth.  And we need to stand up! We need to stand up for what we believe in. We should not be afraid to explain and defend our beliefs to anyone. We should not be afraid to offend people. We need to convey the message of our Church in a loving manner instead of being argumentative. The teens I spoke to last week weren't offended by the loving approach of my defense of the Church's teachings. Rather, I saw "light bulbs" of understanding light up in their eyes.  Many of them got it. They understood.

The Truth is there. It is in the Catholic Church. If you don't believe it, don't just sit there and criticize it. Seek out the Truth. You will find it. And when you do find it, share it. Share it with your family and friends. Most importantly, share it with your children, for they are hungry and they want you to feed them. Feed them with the Truth.

Selling the "Catholic" Dream

Working in youth ministry, I am intimately aware of our culture, particularly youth culture. I know what the teens listen to, what they watch, what they wear, and what video games they play. They are all wonderful kids, but they are, as we all are, influenced by our culture.

Robert P. Lockwood, in his book A Guy's Guide to the Good Life: Virtues for Men says that "we're not created by culture, we create culture." He have created the culture we live in, either directly or indirectly. The media, Hollywood, and advertisers have a direct influence on our culture. Magazines, television, and advertisers tell us how we should dress, what we should eat, and how we should live our lives. You and I have had an indirect role in the creation of our culture by buying into the "American Dream" that the media is selling.

Many of us, myself included, just flow with the waves of our culture, allowing it to have an influence on our lives. What we don't realize is that we are being manipulated. We're being manipulated by advertisers to buy their products. We're being manipulated by Hollywood to watch their movies. We're being manipulated by the media to believe in their causes. We, as individuals, have lost our voices.

We have been led to believe that our culture creates us. In reality,  we create our culture. It's time we realize this.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that Catholicism is counter-cultural. It's really sad that Catholicism is counter-cultural. It shouldn't be that way. We, as Catholics, need to resist the influence of the culture that is being pushed on us by the media and advertisers. We need to live out our Catholic faith dutifully. We need to be counter-cultural until the tide turns and the principles of Catholicism become mainstream. We need to sell the "Catholic Dream" to everyone we meet through our words and our actions. For as Lockwood also points out: "The goodness we can create in the small moments of our lives can reach far beyond us in ways that we never know."

What Is Catholicism?

Rules, rules, rules. Why are there so many rules? What's the deal with the Catholic Church telling me what to do? Why is the Church so restrictive?

These are all great questions, but they are born out of the wrong approach. They are born, most of the time, out of a lack of understanding. I, at one time, felt the same way. There were particular "rules" of the Catholic Church that I just didn't agree with. This preoccupation with the "rules" is, I believe, at the heart of the identity crisis the Catholic church is facing currently.

I asked the teens the other night at a youth group meeting, "What is Catholicism?" None of the teenagers present had an answer to that question. All of them had been through religious education of some sort. Some of them had gone to, and still go to, Catholic schools. I can say that I am not surprised at their lack of understanding of what Catholicism is. I don't fault them for their lack of understanding. Until the past few years, I too, had a lack of understanding of what Catholicism was. While our Catholic religious education system does a good job at teaching (in most situations) the rules of the Church, where we have failed is in getting Catholics to understand Catholicism on a deeper level. So now we have a couple of generations of people that feel that Catholicism is just a religion, a sect, or a set of rules.

Catholicism, in its true essence, is a way of life. It is transformation. It is a call to live an authentic life. Catholicism is much more than just showing up to church on Sunday and occasionally receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It is more than following the rules set forth by the Pope.

The other thing I did at the youth group meeting that night was challenge the teens to take one "rule" of the Church that they think is too restrictive and try to understand why the Church holds that particular position. I then explained that if they did so that I guaranteed that that rule would point to something Jesus said in the Gospels. The teachings of the Church are there as a guideline for us to live the lives that Christ wants us to live. They are there to challenge us to become better people, not to prohibit or restrict us.

I don't know much about other Christian traditions, but I imagine that most of them were founded on the thought that Catholicism was too restrictive. The founders of these churches, I imagine, did not want to be challenged to go outside their comfort zones, so they left and started their own churches.

Catholicism is a choice. It is a choice to truly live out the Gospel in our lives. And yes, living out the Gospel involves sacrifice. It involves stepping outside of our comfort zones and doing what is right despite how hard it is. Catholicism is counter-cultural. If there is one thing we, as Catholics, are called to do above all else, it is this: "I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you should love one another. This is how we will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35) This is how we will reclaim our Catholic identity.

Role of Women in the Church--Part III

Below is the third and final installment of guest bloggers on the subject of the role of women in the Church. It is written by a family friend and blogger, Tricia Baker. You can visit her blog at patriciawbaker.com

When Tim asked me to be a guest blogger on this topic, I had a couple of different feelings. Naturally, I felt honored that he thought well enough about me to request my input on it. I also felt intimidated with the company I would be writing on this topic with, because not only am I the only convert in the group, I respect both of them so much, that I don’t feel that I have reached their spiritual maturity levels. Nonetheless, I trust Tim’s judgment; I have prayed about it and feel that God wants me to do it.

I realize this blog topic resulted from a previous blog of Tim’s regarding women being priests. I would like to voice my opinion on this issue first. It seems many people find it to be unfair that a woman cannot be a Catholic priest. Even when I was a Protestant child, I never felt right about women being pastors. I would grumble when my parents would discuss visiting a church with a female minister. It didn’t feel right at all. I believed and still believe God made the hierarchical family order for an important reason. Most women will end up having children and, in my opinion, there is no way a woman can successfully give herself completely to her congregation, when she is desperately needed at home. Now that I am catholic, I see even more that women cannot possibly be priests. At my parish, I watch both of our priests work all hours of the day and night to give themselves entirely to our church family.

In regards to having a female minister, one example comes to my mind. My next door neighbor was an adopted girl from El Salvador. Her mother decided when the girl was twelve that she was going to be a Lutheran Minister. She left her family for two years to go away to college for her studies. My friend ended up turning to drugs and promiscuity, which she believes happened because she didn’t have a mother to tend to her properly. Even after her mother returned, she was far too busy caring for her congregation to attend to her household duties. Their home was very broken.

So, where do women fit into the role of the church? Of course, there are various roles of religious orders, but I feel I would better answer this question in the perspective of wives and mothers, since I was personally called to the Sacrament of Marriage. I love being active in my church, but it is hard at this point in my life, as a homeschooling mother of four young children. My first responsibility is to raise my children in our Catholic Faith. We pray multiple times a day together and I teach Catechism to our two older sons. We read daily about a different Saint or Angel. We school with a Catholic Curriculum and this leads to many religious discussions during the day.

In church, I do what I can to participate in as much as can, without it becoming an overwhelming and, consequently, undesirable burden. I have always been an extreme believer in the right to life, so I joined our Respect Life group. I even find it difficult at times to make the once a month meeting. However, I still receive the emails and take time to pray for all aspects of life, from conception until death. I have a son in our parish’s Cub Scout Pack, so my husband and I volunteered to be the Webmasters for their website. My husband, Todd, does the content for the website and I update the calendar. We also help the pack out as much as we can fit into our schedule. Our oldest son is an Altar Server and I attend his meetings with him.

Through homeschooling, I have met other incredible Catholic mothers. Most of them do not attend my parish, which leads to yet another reason I love our faith. It doesn’t matter which parish we are members of when we are one in the Eucharist, because we are all a family. A few times a year, we attend a weekday Mass, pray the Rosary, visit retirement homes, pray for the unborn in front of an abortion clinic, make meals for new mothers or families in need, organize religious parties for our children, and offer each other support in different ways. I service the group by being one its communication administrators.

Above everything else, I have found the most important thing I can personally do for the Church is pray. I regularly pray for our priests and everyone that make up our church. I take some time before and during Mass to recognize and appreciate the Eucharistic Ministers, choir, Organist, altar servers and their Director, Deacons, Priests, Nuns, youth ministers, nursery caretakers, ushers, Sacristan, religious education teachers, and all the people that make up my wonderful parish. I appreciate all the roles that make up our church body. Without one of these special roles, we wouldn’t be whole. The physical body can’t work without every functioning organ and it is the same within our church body. I don’t know why God chose for me to be a wife and mother, but I graciously accept the role chosen for me. Our Blessed Mother is incredibly comforting and loving. I feel honored to have been picked to try and emulate her goodness. I pray more women will recognize and accept the role God has called for them.

Role of Women in the Church--Part II

Today's guest post on the subject of the role of women in the Church is from Theresa, author of the blog Catholic Femina. Though I have never met Theresa personally, I have spent a considerable amount of time reading her blog and I find it both informational and inspirational.

What it Means to be a 'Catholic Femina'

First I want to thank Tim Burke for asking me to guest blog. The question is: The Woman’s role in the Catholic Church… This has been a question that I have been answering regularly for the past seven years. In college I studied Theology, I felt God calling me to learn more about the faith. I loved what I studied and I grew spiritually as a result. Even now I am asked: “you are Catholic, why did you (a woman) study theology?” Then very quickly most people follow with the question, “Do you want to be a priest?” The mass down playing of the woman’s role in the Catholic Church is magnified by the feminist movement. Men and women are equal in the Catholic Church regardless of whether or not a woman can become a priest. Men should be priests because that is God’s plan. It was not a mistake or an over sight, Jesus chose twelve men. This was not a cultural or historical difference that needs correction, because pagan churches of Jesus’ time had priestesses. Christ created the complimentary natures of male and female; He understood the best roles in the Church for each. Men are to be priests and the Church is their bride: the Church is the bride of Christ (Eph. 5:23–32). Women cannot have an ordered relationship as a priest with the Holy Mother Church. Men are to take the Church and protect her as Christ asked St. John to protect Mary while He hung from the cross. The proper role for women in the church is as an image of Mary, she stood at the foot of the cross faithfully. Swords pierced her heart as she shared in the pain that Christ endured; this true spiritual sharing with Christ is a woman’s role in the Church. Women in the gospels fearlessly pursued the truth and Christ. This is not a lesser role to men and despite feminists desire to undermine women’s role in the Catholic Church; woman are integral to the faith. The female nature has a heart open to loving unconditionally and giving selflessly. This sharing of self is unparalleled in the Blessed Mother and should be the goal of all women. Female religious can be truly espoused to Christ and give themselves freely as is ordered in the female nature. Men cannot experience this same espousal to Christ; priests represent Christ in the sacraments, but they cannot have this relationship with Him. In marriage a man and woman co-create with God a child, but it is the woman’s role to carry that child to term and feel the Creator’s hand on her as a new life begins. It is not a man’s nature and it should not be a concern that they cannot do this, because their role is vital as well. This is the same with the Catholic Church, women have an important place and this cannot be ignored or lessened by the male role. Men and Women are complimentary. Their proper ordered roles in the Catholic Church must reflect this and Jesus was not in error when He formed the Church. As a woman when I sit in Mass I feel proud of the heritage of noble Catholic women who through humility espoused themselves to Christ and took their place as His bride. I feel that the role of married and single women in the Church is just as important as they share in union with the priest through their humble ardent desire to fearlessly love and give. Women do not need to be ordained priests or claim titles in their parish because Christ gave them a position. The female role in the Church is honorable and should never be looked down on. It is not ordination that makes saints, following the Gospel plan left by Christ is the clear path. I hope that understanding the importance of women in the Body of Christ will encourage them to courageously give of their talents in ministry, as the women of scriptures, and nobly embrace their place in the Church.

The Role of Women in the Church--Part I

A few weeks ago I posted an article titled Why Women Can't Be Priests. I received a considerable amount of feedback on that post, all very positive. One request I received on that was to write about the role of women in the Catholic Church. I've spent the past several weeks thinking about and praying about my response to this request. I have come to the conclusion that the best way to address this question was to have Catholic women answer it. They are, in fact, more experienced in their role in the Church than I. I have asked three female bloggers (two of whom I know personally, one whom I know through the blogosphere and whose opinion I respect) to voice their opinions on their roles in the Catholic Church. Over the course of the next week, I will feature posts from these women. The first post is from fellow blogger (and my wonderful wife) who writes a blog titled Overflow:

What is the role of women in the Catholic church? When Tim and I started discussing this question- and he suggested I share my thoughts on the topic- my first thought was that I was not qualified to offer my opinions. After all, I am not very active at church and do little to contribute to the ministries offered. There was a time, years ago when my older children were toddlers, that I spent as much time at church as I did at home. I was the facilitator for our young mother's faith sharing group, I was on the adult faith formation committee, I sat on the board for the women's organization, I helped out with the ministry team for our parish Bible study, I planned children's parties, and volunteered for extra projects as they came up. As the years passed and our family grew it got harder to be involved at church and my participation in the activities there dwindled.

As I thought more about what I believe a woman's role in the church is, I realized, that though I am no longer as "hand's on" in my ministry and I have no real theological training, I do have something to say on the subject and I am grateful to share my thoughts.

I believe women have an amazing array of things to offer to our church. My contributions in the past, as a lay person, were certainly worthwhile. My volunteer work and involvement in the ministries of our parish family were invaluable to the building up of our church community. The support I offered to my church, as well as the support I received while I was involved there, helped to nurture my faith and the faith of others. I grew in my own relationship with Christ through the service I offered to my parish. This is one important role of women in the church. Acting as lay people, supporting our churches and communities through volunteer work and support ministries is a wonderful way for women, who are naturally nurturing and caring, to take an active role in the church.

My role in the church is now in a very different place. Though I did initially think my inactivity at the parish level nullified my participation in this dialogue, I have since come to realize it does not. My role is different now, but no less valuable or meaningful. Over the years, God has called me to another way of building up His kingdom. This role takes place, not at the parish level, but in my home. I am no longer sitting on committees or planning parish events. Instead, I am, each and every day, nurturing the faith of my own family. I am the heart of our domestic church and that, I can see, is just as valuable a role in the Church as all my volunteer work in the past. As a wife and mother I am so blessed to be able to share my own beliefs and faith with my children and my husband. I have the opportunity to watch my children grow in their own relationship with God and to play a role in guiding them closer to Christ everyday. I have the chance to support my husband in his faith and to allow him an opportunity to contribute to our parish as youth minister. I am an example of Christ's love alive in my family everyday as I care for my children and my home. It seems these days, this role of women is either unappreciated, or worse, unnoticed; but the reality is, the world still needs women to serve God by serving their families. I see families breaking down and losing the focus they once had, and I am saddened by the consequences of it on the world as a whole. Seeing children led astray and families dragged down by sinfulness I wonder how much better our church would be served if more women were willing to forego the glamour and glory of serving others outside of their home for the drudgery and hard work of giving of themselves for the good of their families right at home.

The role of women in the church cannot be easily defined but wives and mothers must be willing to start at home. We cannot truly serve God unless we do it through our vocation as the hearts of our home. The bottom line, as I see it is, that both women and men must serve God in whatever capacity He asks of us. Sometimes we may be asked to get involved at church and sometimes we may be asked to serve Him right in our home but either way, our goal in life needs to be to glorify Him in all we do and to let His love shine through us each and everyday.

The Source and Summit of Our Faith

I love the Eucharist! The older I get, the more I understand and believe in the true presence of the Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist. It becomes clear to me as I read the Gospels that Christ gave the Apostles the power to change the bread and wine into His Body and Blood. You don't need to be a biblical scholar to see what Christ did.

One of my favorite passages about the Eucharist is the story of the disciples on the road to Emmaus. Here you have two disciples journeying from Jerusalem to Emmaus. They are probably both distraught and excited at the same time. They are distraught over the fact that Jesus was killed, yet they are excited about the reports of His resurrection. Along comes "some guy" and starts a discussion with them about the scriptures. They are enlightened by what he has to say and strengthened by his words. Then they all sit down and have a meal together. This "guy" "took bread, said the blessing, broke it and gave it to them." (Luke 24:30). It was then, and only then, that the eyes of these two disciples were opened to who was with them. IT WAS CHRIST IN THE EUCHARIST!! It was the Mass that Christ was celebrating with these two disciples--the liturgy of the Word and the liturgy of the Eucharist. Luke stated twice in his Gospel that Jesus was only made known to the disciples in the breaking of the bread, in the Eucharist. He wanted to make it clear that Christ was truly present in the Eucharist. I am truly amazed by our Catholic tradition and I see the wisdom of the Church. The fathers of the Church didn't just make this up. There is a scriptural basis for all of it. The Catholic Church is the Church founded by Christ and 2000 years later we hold true to the traditions Jesus implemented for us. No other Christian church can make that claim! Praise God for our Catholic faith.

Want to Deepen Your Faith--Try This...

I've mentioned several times in my blogs that I'm a big fan of Matthew Kelly's book "Rediscovering Catholicism." One of the things he discusses in his book is the importance of spiritual reading. He even goes so far as to say:

"We could...dream up of all types of elaborate adult education programs, but my proposal is that we encourage Catholic adults to read good spiritual books."

Catholics are leaving the Church in droves because they don't agree with certain teachings. But these Catholics that are leaving the Church don't understand WHY the Church takes the stance it does. We can do whatever we can to try to get them to stay or come back but they will never understand it fully unless they discover it themselves. Encouraging spiritual reading will give all Catholics (not just the fallen away) the opportunity to discover the fullness of our faith on our own. If all of us would just take the time to read why the Church teaches what it does we will gain a better understanding of the beauty of the truth the Church is bestowing on us.

Likewise, if good, faithful Catholics immerse themselves in spiritual reading--even if it's only 15 minutes a day--then they will deepen their faith and grow closer to Christ. I have tried this Lent to spend time each day doing some spiritual reading and I am already feeling the difference. So my challenge to all who read this is to spend time each day reading something spiritual. It will change your life!