"He Went Away Sad..."

First of all, I want to thank Theresa, Tricia, and Kari for being guest bloggers on my site. Their insight into the role of women in the Church is invaluable. I want to take a moment to share my insights.

A recurring theme from all three posts was doing the will of God. I think that this is the core of understanding our role in the Church, whether we be male or female.

In order to understand our roles in the Church we need to be able to shut out all of the noise that is in our lives. We need to shut out all of the voices that tell us who we need to be and what we need to do. We need to take time to sit in silence and listen. We need to shut off our televisions, our iPods, our cell phones. We need to shut off the voices of others. We need to silence what our culture is telling us to do and be. We need to sit in silence and pray. We need to listen to the call of God in our lives.

It is so hard to find time for silence these days, with so much noise surrounding us. Silence makes many of us uncomfortable. We're uncomfortable with it because we never experience it. But it is where God speaks to us. It is in the silence that we come to know and understand our role in the Church.

After we sit in silence and hear the call of God, then we need to take action. This, I believe, is the hard part. God is calling us. Yes, we can listen and hear what He wants us to do, but are we willing to actually do it? We are like the rich man from the Gospel of Matthew:

Jesus said to him "If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. (Matt. 19:21-22)

We are unwilling to give up our possessions. We are unwilling to give up our dreams, our hopes, our desires. This is why so many people have a hard time understanding their role in the Church. They want it all. They want to live their lives the way they want to and they want to have a role in the Church. Unless you are willing to sacrifice everything to follow Christ you will never understand your role in the Church. Can you do this?

Role of Women in the Church--Part III

Below is the third and final installment of guest bloggers on the subject of the role of women in the Church. It is written by a family friend and blogger, Tricia Baker. You can visit her blog at patriciawbaker.com

When Tim asked me to be a guest blogger on this topic, I had a couple of different feelings. Naturally, I felt honored that he thought well enough about me to request my input on it. I also felt intimidated with the company I would be writing on this topic with, because not only am I the only convert in the group, I respect both of them so much, that I don’t feel that I have reached their spiritual maturity levels. Nonetheless, I trust Tim’s judgment; I have prayed about it and feel that God wants me to do it.

I realize this blog topic resulted from a previous blog of Tim’s regarding women being priests. I would like to voice my opinion on this issue first. It seems many people find it to be unfair that a woman cannot be a Catholic priest. Even when I was a Protestant child, I never felt right about women being pastors. I would grumble when my parents would discuss visiting a church with a female minister. It didn’t feel right at all. I believed and still believe God made the hierarchical family order for an important reason. Most women will end up having children and, in my opinion, there is no way a woman can successfully give herself completely to her congregation, when she is desperately needed at home. Now that I am catholic, I see even more that women cannot possibly be priests. At my parish, I watch both of our priests work all hours of the day and night to give themselves entirely to our church family.

In regards to having a female minister, one example comes to my mind. My next door neighbor was an adopted girl from El Salvador. Her mother decided when the girl was twelve that she was going to be a Lutheran Minister. She left her family for two years to go away to college for her studies. My friend ended up turning to drugs and promiscuity, which she believes happened because she didn’t have a mother to tend to her properly. Even after her mother returned, she was far too busy caring for her congregation to attend to her household duties. Their home was very broken.

So, where do women fit into the role of the church? Of course, there are various roles of religious orders, but I feel I would better answer this question in the perspective of wives and mothers, since I was personally called to the Sacrament of Marriage. I love being active in my church, but it is hard at this point in my life, as a homeschooling mother of four young children. My first responsibility is to raise my children in our Catholic Faith. We pray multiple times a day together and I teach Catechism to our two older sons. We read daily about a different Saint or Angel. We school with a Catholic Curriculum and this leads to many religious discussions during the day.

In church, I do what I can to participate in as much as can, without it becoming an overwhelming and, consequently, undesirable burden. I have always been an extreme believer in the right to life, so I joined our Respect Life group. I even find it difficult at times to make the once a month meeting. However, I still receive the emails and take time to pray for all aspects of life, from conception until death. I have a son in our parish’s Cub Scout Pack, so my husband and I volunteered to be the Webmasters for their website. My husband, Todd, does the content for the website and I update the calendar. We also help the pack out as much as we can fit into our schedule. Our oldest son is an Altar Server and I attend his meetings with him.

Through homeschooling, I have met other incredible Catholic mothers. Most of them do not attend my parish, which leads to yet another reason I love our faith. It doesn’t matter which parish we are members of when we are one in the Eucharist, because we are all a family. A few times a year, we attend a weekday Mass, pray the Rosary, visit retirement homes, pray for the unborn in front of an abortion clinic, make meals for new mothers or families in need, organize religious parties for our children, and offer each other support in different ways. I service the group by being one its communication administrators.

Above everything else, I have found the most important thing I can personally do for the Church is pray. I regularly pray for our priests and everyone that make up our church. I take some time before and during Mass to recognize and appreciate the Eucharistic Ministers, choir, Organist, altar servers and their Director, Deacons, Priests, Nuns, youth ministers, nursery caretakers, ushers, Sacristan, religious education teachers, and all the people that make up my wonderful parish. I appreciate all the roles that make up our church body. Without one of these special roles, we wouldn’t be whole. The physical body can’t work without every functioning organ and it is the same within our church body. I don’t know why God chose for me to be a wife and mother, but I graciously accept the role chosen for me. Our Blessed Mother is incredibly comforting and loving. I feel honored to have been picked to try and emulate her goodness. I pray more women will recognize and accept the role God has called for them.

Role of Women in the Church--Part II

Today's guest post on the subject of the role of women in the Church is from Theresa, author of the blog Catholic Femina. Though I have never met Theresa personally, I have spent a considerable amount of time reading her blog and I find it both informational and inspirational.

What it Means to be a 'Catholic Femina'

First I want to thank Tim Burke for asking me to guest blog. The question is: The Woman’s role in the Catholic Church… This has been a question that I have been answering regularly for the past seven years. In college I studied Theology, I felt God calling me to learn more about the faith. I loved what I studied and I grew spiritually as a result. Even now I am asked: “you are Catholic, why did you (a woman) study theology?” Then very quickly most people follow with the question, “Do you want to be a priest?” The mass down playing of the woman’s role in the Catholic Church is magnified by the feminist movement. Men and women are equal in the Catholic Church regardless of whether or not a woman can become a priest. Men should be priests because that is God’s plan. It was not a mistake or an over sight, Jesus chose twelve men. This was not a cultural or historical difference that needs correction, because pagan churches of Jesus’ time had priestesses. Christ created the complimentary natures of male and female; He understood the best roles in the Church for each. Men are to be priests and the Church is their bride: the Church is the bride of Christ (Eph. 5:23–32). Women cannot have an ordered relationship as a priest with the Holy Mother Church. Men are to take the Church and protect her as Christ asked St. John to protect Mary while He hung from the cross. The proper role for women in the church is as an image of Mary, she stood at the foot of the cross faithfully. Swords pierced her heart as she shared in the pain that Christ endured; this true spiritual sharing with Christ is a woman’s role in the Church. Women in the gospels fearlessly pursued the truth and Christ. This is not a lesser role to men and despite feminists desire to undermine women’s role in the Catholic Church; woman are integral to the faith. The female nature has a heart open to loving unconditionally and giving selflessly. This sharing of self is unparalleled in the Blessed Mother and should be the goal of all women. Female religious can be truly espoused to Christ and give themselves freely as is ordered in the female nature. Men cannot experience this same espousal to Christ; priests represent Christ in the sacraments, but they cannot have this relationship with Him. In marriage a man and woman co-create with God a child, but it is the woman’s role to carry that child to term and feel the Creator’s hand on her as a new life begins. It is not a man’s nature and it should not be a concern that they cannot do this, because their role is vital as well. This is the same with the Catholic Church, women have an important place and this cannot be ignored or lessened by the male role. Men and Women are complimentary. Their proper ordered roles in the Catholic Church must reflect this and Jesus was not in error when He formed the Church. As a woman when I sit in Mass I feel proud of the heritage of noble Catholic women who through humility espoused themselves to Christ and took their place as His bride. I feel that the role of married and single women in the Church is just as important as they share in union with the priest through their humble ardent desire to fearlessly love and give. Women do not need to be ordained priests or claim titles in their parish because Christ gave them a position. The female role in the Church is honorable and should never be looked down on. It is not ordination that makes saints, following the Gospel plan left by Christ is the clear path. I hope that understanding the importance of women in the Body of Christ will encourage them to courageously give of their talents in ministry, as the women of scriptures, and nobly embrace their place in the Church.

The Role of Women in the Church--Part I

A few weeks ago I posted an article titled Why Women Can't Be Priests. I received a considerable amount of feedback on that post, all very positive. One request I received on that was to write about the role of women in the Catholic Church. I've spent the past several weeks thinking about and praying about my response to this request. I have come to the conclusion that the best way to address this question was to have Catholic women answer it. They are, in fact, more experienced in their role in the Church than I. I have asked three female bloggers (two of whom I know personally, one whom I know through the blogosphere and whose opinion I respect) to voice their opinions on their roles in the Catholic Church. Over the course of the next week, I will feature posts from these women. The first post is from fellow blogger (and my wonderful wife) who writes a blog titled Overflow:

What is the role of women in the Catholic church? When Tim and I started discussing this question- and he suggested I share my thoughts on the topic- my first thought was that I was not qualified to offer my opinions. After all, I am not very active at church and do little to contribute to the ministries offered. There was a time, years ago when my older children were toddlers, that I spent as much time at church as I did at home. I was the facilitator for our young mother's faith sharing group, I was on the adult faith formation committee, I sat on the board for the women's organization, I helped out with the ministry team for our parish Bible study, I planned children's parties, and volunteered for extra projects as they came up. As the years passed and our family grew it got harder to be involved at church and my participation in the activities there dwindled.

As I thought more about what I believe a woman's role in the church is, I realized, that though I am no longer as "hand's on" in my ministry and I have no real theological training, I do have something to say on the subject and I am grateful to share my thoughts.

I believe women have an amazing array of things to offer to our church. My contributions in the past, as a lay person, were certainly worthwhile. My volunteer work and involvement in the ministries of our parish family were invaluable to the building up of our church community. The support I offered to my church, as well as the support I received while I was involved there, helped to nurture my faith and the faith of others. I grew in my own relationship with Christ through the service I offered to my parish. This is one important role of women in the church. Acting as lay people, supporting our churches and communities through volunteer work and support ministries is a wonderful way for women, who are naturally nurturing and caring, to take an active role in the church.

My role in the church is now in a very different place. Though I did initially think my inactivity at the parish level nullified my participation in this dialogue, I have since come to realize it does not. My role is different now, but no less valuable or meaningful. Over the years, God has called me to another way of building up His kingdom. This role takes place, not at the parish level, but in my home. I am no longer sitting on committees or planning parish events. Instead, I am, each and every day, nurturing the faith of my own family. I am the heart of our domestic church and that, I can see, is just as valuable a role in the Church as all my volunteer work in the past. As a wife and mother I am so blessed to be able to share my own beliefs and faith with my children and my husband. I have the opportunity to watch my children grow in their own relationship with God and to play a role in guiding them closer to Christ everyday. I have the chance to support my husband in his faith and to allow him an opportunity to contribute to our parish as youth minister. I am an example of Christ's love alive in my family everyday as I care for my children and my home. It seems these days, this role of women is either unappreciated, or worse, unnoticed; but the reality is, the world still needs women to serve God by serving their families. I see families breaking down and losing the focus they once had, and I am saddened by the consequences of it on the world as a whole. Seeing children led astray and families dragged down by sinfulness I wonder how much better our church would be served if more women were willing to forego the glamour and glory of serving others outside of their home for the drudgery and hard work of giving of themselves for the good of their families right at home.

The role of women in the church cannot be easily defined but wives and mothers must be willing to start at home. We cannot truly serve God unless we do it through our vocation as the hearts of our home. The bottom line, as I see it is, that both women and men must serve God in whatever capacity He asks of us. Sometimes we may be asked to get involved at church and sometimes we may be asked to serve Him right in our home but either way, our goal in life needs to be to glorify Him in all we do and to let His love shine through us each and everyday.

Sam I Am vs. The Devil

Prior to entering the life of youth ministry, I was in sales. I wasn't a very good salesman, but I did learn a lot about the characteristics of salesmen. The best salesmen are incredibly persuasive. They make you feel good about the item or service that they are attempting to sell you. They are also incredibly persistent. I remember going to a sales training meeting and the sales trainer started talking about the best book on sales he had ever read. All of us in the class got excited about this book as he claimed that if we could carry out what this book is telling us as salesmen to do, then we would be extremely successful. I got my pen ready to write down the name of the author and title of the book and eagerly anticipated that piece of information. Finally, he pulled out an old, worn copy of the book that looked like it had been through years and years of reading and re-reading. The book he pulled out of his briefcase was "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss. The trainer went on to explain that Sam was the best salesman there ever was. He truly did not give up until he sold his wares. He was incredibly persistent and in the end he was able to sell his green eggs and ham.

Although Sam is an incredible salesman, there is one that is better, more cunning, more persuasive, more persistent. That salesman is the devil. Satan pulls out all the tricks getting us to buy into what he has to sell. I see how persistent, persuasive, and cunning he is in my own life. He uses tricks on me like, "It feels good", or "No one will know". He entices me with pleasures from this world. He even goes so far as to say, "Come on, you can always go to confession afterwards!" Oh, how easy it is go give into the temptations of sin! As the Lord said to Cain: "Sin is a demon lurking at the door." (Genesis 4:7) The devil is a door to door salesman, selling his wares to any and all who open the door of their souls to him.

We must not be persuaded! Just as with any big "purchase", we must go to the Lord in prayer to discuss what the devil is trying to sell us. Only the Lord can help us determine if what we are being asked to purchase is a good and worthy purchase. We must slam the door of our soul in the face of the devil when he knocks. We must drop to our knees at the moment of the temptation to "buy" what the devil is selling us and pray to the Lord for help and guidance.

But, alas, we do not do this. The devil is so cunning and persuasive a salesman that he convinces us that we don't need to discuss the "purchase" with anyone. He tells us that what we are buying is good, that we deserve what he is selling us.

Heavenly Father, Give us the foresight to look out the windows of our souls and see the devil approaching our doors in an attempt to sell us his wares. Give us the strength to resist opening the door to him. Give us the ability to resist the persuasiveness of the devil. Give us the wisdom to know the difference between what you want for us and what the devil is trying to sell us. Amen.

The Price is Right!

Can you put a price on life? Some people think you can. I heard a statistic on the radio the other day that stated that, on average, parents spend $200k raising a child from birth through age 17.

My wife and I just welcomed our fifth child into the world. While at the hospital I heard several comments from nurses, after hearing that our new baby was #5, saying that having that many children is expensive. Yes, having children is expensive. But what difference does that really make? Unfortunately for many people, it makes too much of a difference. It is easy to do this when money is our focus in life. When we place the accumulation of money and worldly comforts above God's will for our lives, then we cannot afford children. They will be too expensive. Our world is so caught up in money and possessions that we see raising children as a liability and not as an asset.

However, life is not a balance sheet. It is not about weighing our assets and liabilities. When considering having children, the question of affordability should not be the main question we ask. It is absolutely a component, as we should not be irresponsible. Adding children to a family should be an ongoing discussion between husband, wife, and God. Prayer is probably the most important aspect of discerning having children. We need to discern what God wants for us and our family. If God does want a married couple to add children to their family, and the couple discerns that through prayer, then God will provide for that family. We have always struggled to make ends meet financially, yet God has always provided us with what we need.

God also knows what is best for us when considering adding children to our families. Let me illustrate this with a real life example. Back in 2007, my wife and I spent quite a bit of time praying about and talking about adding a fifth child to our family. After months of prayer and consideration, we decided to try to have another child. Now, we have never had fertility issues in the past. We always got pregnant within the first month or two of trying. Yet, we did not conceive in our first month. The very next month I lost my job. You see, God knew what he was doing. He knew that He had a plan for us and adding another child at that point was not a part of that plan. We would not have been able to afford another child through my unemployment.

We need to trust God and His plan for us, not just for our family, but for everything. God will continue to provide for our needs if we allow Him to. We need to discuss our plans with Him in prayer and with all those who are involved in the decision. We need to pray constantly to understand God's will for us. God will provide for us as long as we follow His plan for us, and not our own plan. It doesn't matter if it costs $200k or $2 million to raise a child, if it is God's will for my wife and I to add to our family, I trust that he will provide us the means to do so.

Home is Heaven for Beginners

"Home interprets heaven. Home is heaven for beginners" (Charles H. Parkhurst). How very true this statement is! Think about it. Where do you feel most comforted, most loved? Hopefully, you answered home. Home is where we go for reassurance, for intimacy, for guidance, for protection. At least that is what home is supposed to be.

It is unfortunate that we live in a world that has so many broken homes. If home truly is heaven for beginners then no wonder we have a crisis of faith, or as Pope Benedict XVI says, "a crisis of Christian hope." With so many divorces, so much anger and resentment pouring out of our homes, it is easy to see that we have lost our sense of faith, our sense of hope.

I look at my home and see that I am failing at creating heaven for my children. I'm often short with them and snap at them....not because they are doing anything wrong, but because I'm selfish and don't want to be bothered by them or the noise they are making. The home truly does (or at least is supposed to) interpret heaven. It is my first (and most important) job as a husband and a father to ensure that my wife and children get to heaven. Am I living that example? Sometimes I do. Other times, well, not so much.

I need to start being aware of this statement. I need to live my life as though not only my salvation depended on it, but the salvation of my wife and children as well. Because it does. I'm responsible for ensuring that they make it to heaven. But I'm not alone in this. My wife, too has responsibilities. She is responsible for making sure I, and our children, make it to heaven. Oftentimes I think she is doing a better job at this than I. We as a family, as a home, must work together to bring heaven, however amateur it may be, into our home.

This quest of ensuring heaven is in our home also extends beyond our family. Anyone who comes into our home, in fact everyone we encounter, must also see heaven. This is a big responsibility. We must live our lives in such a way that everyone can see a slice of heaven in us. Our words and actions must be selfless, must be loving, must be charitable. Through much prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit, we can reflect heaven to others. Doing so will renew that Christian hope that is missing in our world.

Heavenly Father, I desire to be close to you. I desire to reflect heaven to all whom I encounter, especially my family and those closest to me. Send forth your Spirit that I may be renewed in your love and be a light to others. Amen

Men Get What Men Want!

"Because you're a man! And men get what men want!" This quote is from a Pepsi Max radio commercial that runs quite often when my family and I listen to baseball games on the radio. My kids love this commercial and are always quoting it. I started pondering this commercial and particularly this quote. Maybe I think too much, but this is what I thought about....

This quote and commercial are a sad statement about society. It is unfortunate, but too many men have this attitude about life. This kind of attitude contributes to the inappropriate sexual behaviors many men have, it contributes to the backstabbing that goes on in corporate America in order to get ahead, it contributes to the general moral decline of our society. And here we have Pepsi celebrating this attitude, encouraging men to have this attitude.

Life is not about getting what you want out of it, unless what you want is eternal salvation...but I don't think this is what marketers at Pepsi are talking about. Life is about the pursuit of eternal salvation, which involves quite a bit of self-sacrifice (i.e. not getting what you want). We must be willing to sacrifice what "we want" for what God wants for us. I just hope that I am effectively teaching my children this and they realize that this radio commercial is perpetuating a wrong attitude about life.

Are You Insecure?

The subject of insecurities has been a hot topic around my house lately. My wife and I have had several discussions about it over the past few weeks. We've talked about our own insecurities as well as our family's and friend's insecurities. My wife seems to think that I have no insecurities. While this is not entirely true, for the most part I don't have many insecurities. It goes back to when I was in high school and very insecure. I was the guy that everyone picked on. Well, I woke up one day and realized that I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, and from that day on, I haven't felt strong insecurities like others feel, although I do still have some.

So, why do people have insecurities? While I think there are many reasons for this, I think the root of people's insecurities goes back to the fall of Adam and Eve. Think about it. Before the fall, Adam and Eve were naked. They were naked physically, but they were also "naked" to each other emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They were in complete union with each other and with God, with nothing held back. They were completely secure in the love of God. Then they fell. They realized that they were naked and they clothed themselves. They also hid their thoughts and feelings from each other. Through that original sin they were no longer secure in the love of God. They feared what others thought about them and they hid themselves--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--from each other.

How can we get back to that feeling of the security of God's love? We can't get it back entirely, at least not while still in this world. But we can seek out the protection of God, seek out His love and His strength. Through God we can have the resolved to not care what others think about us. While we may not be able to get rid of our insecurities completely--I don't know anyone who has, myself included--we can find some security in the love of God.

Am I Self-Righteous?

Self-righteous and sanctimonious? Someone I respect recently said this of me. It got me thinking, is it true? I write a blog to share my faith with others. I use Facebook and twitter to share my faith with others. But does this mean that I'm self-righteous and sanctimonious? For someone who doesn't understand why I do what I do, it may seem that way.

So, why do I try to share my faith with others? Do I do it because I'm saying "Look at me! Look at how strong my faith is! I'm better than you!"? Or do I do it because I am truly passionate about my faith and the graces God has given me that it just overflows and spreads to others? Do I share my faith as an evangelization tool, or as a way to attract attention to myself? To do the latter is sinful. Yes, I do admit that I get a sense of satisfaction when people read my blog or Facebook and twitter status updates and comment on them. It does puff my pride up a bit to see people react positively to what I do. But this is not why I do what I do.

My attempt, in evangelizing online, is to share with others the joys and struggles of my own faith journey. Yes, it is far from perfect, but my prayer is that people be encouraged by and strengthened by my struggles and joys. I am always the first one to admit my faults, and regular readers of this blog will see that. I am trying with all my heart to love Christ and follow Him to the best of my ability--and that includes sharing my faith with others as Christ calls each and every one of us to do. We are not in this alone and need the love and support each other in our journey. I'm attempting to use my blog, Facebook, and twitter to do just that. Is that self-righteous and sanctimonious?