Forgiveness

Forgiveness. It's a hard thing to do. Yet, it is a necessary thing. The topic of forgiveness has been on my mind the past couple of days. It seems to keep coming up. It all started when I was reading the bible yesterday during prayer. I'm in Matthew, reading the Sermon on the Mount. I read the first half of chapter 6 yesterday, with the passage about the Lord's Prayer. Normally when I read this passage I just gloss over it, thinking: "Yeah, yeah. I know this one. Let's just move along. Nothing new to see here." Not this time. I was halted dead in my tracks (which is why I only got through half of chapter 6).

What struck me about what I read was not the Lord's Prayer itself, but what came right after the prayer:

If you forgive others transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions. ~Matthew 6: 14-15

I've never really thought much about this passage. I guess I've dismissed it just as I have dismissed the Lord's Prayer itself. But here I was, immensely struck by the implications of what Jesus is saying, "...neither will your Father forgive your transgressions." I immediately called to mind a situation with an extended family member with whom I'm having difficulty forgiving. I'm having a difficult time forgiving this person for a "transgression" that occurred several months ago.

Forgiving someone who has hurt us is sometimes a difficult thing to do. I have, we all have, deep wounds cut into us from wrongs that have been done to us. I don't want to forgive this family member. He hasn't forgiven me, so why should I forgive him? However, if I am unwilling to forgive this family member, or anyone else for that matter, then our loving and merciful Father will not forgive me for all the wrong I have done to Him. God did not say "forgive others when they forgive you." He simply said to forgive.

Forgiveness is an integral part of our journey to salvation. We must be willing to forgive those who have hurt us. We must be willing to ask for forgiveness from those we have hurt. If we can't forgive, then God can't forgive us. We need to see beyond our anger, our fears, our insecurities. There is an eternal component to forgiveness. If we cannot forgive, then we cannot enter the gates of heaven. It's that important.

Lord, Jesus. Thank you. Thank you for your love, your mercy, your graces. Heavenly Father, give me the strength to forgive those who have hurt me. Give me the grace to humble myself, to let go of my anger, and to forgive. Amen.

You Can't Make Me!

Fr. Thomas Williams, in his  book A Heart Like His, very wisely points out that God "can move mountains, change tides, and create and destroy universes--but he cannot make us love him." That's right. God can do anything but force us to love Him, follow Him, or have faith in Him. He gave us the free will to decide who, or what, we love.

It's interesting. The only thing God asks from us, the only thing he wants from us is our love: "'Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?' He said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.'" (Matthew 22:36-37) God, our loving Father, wants more than anything else for us to love Him. It is His greatest, His only, desire. Yet, He can't take it from us. He can't force us to love Him.

So, do I give my love to God. My first thought is "YES! Of course I love God. I'm a good Catholic. I pray. I go to Mass. I read the bible. I follow the 10 Commandments...at least I try to." Upon further reflection, I realize that although my words say that I love God, my actions are often quite the opposite.

Loving God with all my heart,  soul, and mind means so much more than praying, going to Mass, and trying to follow the 10 Commandments. Loving God fully, as He wants us to, means complete and total surrender. It means surrendering our whole will, our whole lives to Him. It means I put my love for God ahead of my love of chocolate. It means I love God more than I love my wife, my children, my comforts. God can't make me love Him more than I love my things, but if I truly want to be happy, if I want to be at peace in my life, then He needs to be my first love.

The Wisdom of Dumbledore

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"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." ~Albus Dumbledore

Last night I watched the fourth Harry Potter movie with my wife. I've read all 7 of the books and enjoyed them all. Now, now...don't start filling my comment box with criticisms that Harry Potter is evil. This is not a post on whether or not the Harry Potter series of books are good or bad. Rather, it is about the above quote.

There is a great amount of wisdom in those words. Dark and difficult times do lie ahead. In fact, I believe that dark and difficult times are already here. No, I'm not talking politically or economically. I'm talking specifically about life in general. Life is difficult. Yet, we all try to convince ourselves otherwise.

We live in a culture of convenience. We want what is easy. We seek instant gratification. If it takes time, if it takes energy, if it takes effort, we want to have nothing to do with it. The problem, as Dumbledore wisely points out, is that what is easy is not always what is right.

Think about that for a moment? I know what I should do, what is right. I need to strengthen my relationship with God, to pray more and read the bible more. I need to strengthen my relationship with my spouse, to spend time with her and deepen our relationship. I need to be more patient with my kids. All these things are right, yet, at least for me, none of them are easy.

Life isn't supposed to be easy. Jesus never said it would be. In fact, he said quite the opposite, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23). Carrying a cross is hard. Yet, it's the right thing to do. It's what Christ is asking us to do. We all "face the choice between what is right and what is easy". Which one are you going to choose?

Gone Fishing...

In the beginning of Matthew's Gospel, Jesus calls out to Peter and Andrew, "Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men" (Matthew 4:19). It was the beginning of his public ministry and he needed help.

I can't help but wonder what was going through Peter and Andrew's mind as he was in the sea of Galilee that day fishing. Here they were, trying to earn a day's work, and some guy calls out to them. Had they heard of Jesus before that day? Did they know of John the Baptist's preaching that Jesus was coming? Did they know of Jesus' baptism in the Jordan and what happened there? They had to have had some sort of idea of who this Jesus was or they would have just responded with something like, "Who the heck are you, and why should I follow you? What's this about fishing for men? Are you crazy?" I know that's how I would respond if some stranger came up to me and said something odd like telling me to follow him to fish for men. Peter and Andrew must have heard of Jesus before that day. Otherwise, they wouldn't have followed. They wouldn't have believed. Peter and Andrew (James and John, too) gave up their lives that day. They gave up their livelihood, their families....everything. They did it in order to follow Jesus and become "fishers of men."

Jesus is calling us, too. Are we listening? Are you willing to give up everything....I MEAN EVERYTHING! Are you willing to sacrifice your comfortable house, your car, your job, your family.....Are you willing to give it all for Him? Because that is what He is asking us to do. Does that mean that we have to be homeless, unemployed, and alone in order to follow Jesus? No. It does mean, however, that we should not put anything ahead of our relationship with Jesus. 

I posted a Youtube video earlier today. It was a Matthew Kelly video about contemplation. If you haven't watched it, you should. In it he said that our actions are determined by our thoughts. In prayer today, I journaled a bit on that sentence. I came to the conclusion that my thoughts are not on Jesus. My thoughts are on everything but Jesus. Hence my actions are oftentimes contrary to what Jesus is calling me to. I spend my time putting everything ahead of my relationship with Jesus. I spend my time thinking about the things I want instead of the things Jesus wants for me. No. I am not listening to Jesus' call. I'm too caught up in my comforts.

What is Jesus calling me to? What is Jesus calling you to? The same thing he called Peter and Andrew to. He is calling all of us to be "fishers of men." He is calling all of us to spread the Good News! But I can't do that until I change my thoughts. Until I center my thoughts around my relationship with Jesus, I can't go fishing. 

What Are You Thinking?

In doing some work today preparing for my high school youth program next year, I ran across this from Matthew Kelly.....

Overflow: My Son is Better Than Your Son

I read this yesterday and wanted to share it. I thought it was really good....

 When my oldest son was only about 11 months old he and I were invited to a play date at the house of a friend of mine who had a son of her own, just a few weeks younger than mine.  When we arrived there were three or four other moms there also, each with a child around the same age.  I remember clearly, watching all the other little ones sitting on the floor playing nicely while my son toddled in circles around them all.  One of the babies started to clap his hands and the others all joined in, all except my son who was too busy walking around the room to even notice.  I went home from that play date so worried.  My son had never clapped, he didn’t know how yet.  I didn’t think much about the fact that none of the other babies was walking yet but I agonized over my own son’s lack of clapping ability.  Now, all these years later it seems so silly, obviously my son was more focused on his gross motor skills to be bothered with something as trivial as clapping but at the time I really did worry. Continued...

Break Time!

The past several weeks of my life have been pretty crazy. Not only do I work a part-time job in addition to my full time job as a youth minister, but my ministry job has been seemingly non-stop for the past month or so. Between Confirmation, graduation Mass, meetings (more than usual!), coordinating the Matthew Kelly speaking event at my parish (see www.dynamiccatholic.com or www.matthewkelly.org for more about Matthew), I have barely had time to breathe, much less do anything else. And then Memorial Day weekend came. A time to slow down, relax, and spend time with family. Yet, this weekend was anything but slow.

Friday night was the start of it all. It was the night Matthew came to speak. This is something I have been anticipating and preparing for for months. I've been wanting to get him to come ever since I read his book, Rediscovering Catholicism. If you haven't read this book, you need to!  Matthew's message is one that needs to be heard in parishes across the U.S. It was an amazing event. It was spiritually refreshing and good to hear his message. Unfortunately, I did not take the time to allow it to sink in. This weekend was the peak of busyness in my busy month. It was spent either working in the yard or working my part-time job.

In the midst of the craziness of my life, I've forgotten several things. First of all, I've forgotten to pray...or rather I've chosen to not take the time to pray. I thought about prayer often, but rarely did I stop to spend time in prayer with my Lord. I didn't pick up my Bible. I didn't read any other spiritual book. I consumed myself with distractions, telling myself I'll get to prayer later. As a result of neglecting to maintain my relationship with God, I have forgotten to maintain and nurture my relationship with my wife and children. The result of all of this has not been pretty. I've lost sight of my passion and purpose in life.

 Summer break is here. I'm done with my weekly youth group meetings until September. I'm still meeting with the teens this summer, but I'm taking a much needed 3 week break. And when I do start meeting with them over the summer, it is going to be much less intense than during the school year. I need to take this short break to regroup and refocus. Matthew said on Friday night that our lives change when our habits change. I need to change my habits. I need to make a habit of nurturing my relationship with God. I need to spend time with Him every day. I need to make a habit of nurturing my relationship with my spouse and my children. I need to slow down the pace of my life and focus on what is really important: My God and my family.

What about you? Do you need to slow down? Do you need to refocus? Do you need to change your habits? Do you need to change your life? Take time out today to think about these questions. Think about where your focus is. Is that focus going to lead you to heaven, or is it just keeping you busy in the moment? I know that my focus has been keeping me busy, but has not been leading me to heaven. Make the changes in your habits that are necessary to change your life. Find good habits to replace the bad ones. Start by making prayer a habit. Start today. I am.