I Need to Be More Like My Daughter!

I love reading. I always have. It's a large part of the reason why I decided to get a bachelor's degree in literature. Over the past couple of years I have found myself reading less fiction and more non-fiction. Most of the books I read these days are spiritual in nature. I have come to discover that this is how I best connect with God. When I read spiritual books, I can reflect on the words on the pages and come to a better understanding of myself, God, and my relationship with Him. Oftentimes, what I read will lead to reflection on a particular chapter, paragraph, or even a word that speaks to my heart. Spiritual reading, for me, is an avenue through which I connect with God and enter into a conversation with Him. It leads to meditation, a very important component to spiritual life.

I've been between books for what seems like a couple of months now. For some reason, I just don't have anything to read at the moment. I've read all the books I've got at home and even picked up a couple of books at the office in the hopes of finding some spiritual book to guide me. But nothing has grabbed a hold of me like many of the books I have read in the past. As a result, I have seen my spiritual reservoir dry up. I don't feel connected to God in my prayer these days. I think it largely has to do with not having something to read, something to give me a launching point to enter into a conversation with God. I have tried other things like the rosary, the chaplet of Divine Mercy, and other tools to guide me into a deep meditation with God, but nothing seems to work like a good book on spirituality. I've even asked my spiritual director if he could recommend any good books to me, but he didn't have any ideas.

I was sitting in the Eucharistic chapel at my parish today thinking about this dilemma. I was thinking that I need to find something that will help me to connect with my faith again, something that I can use to tune my mind in to what God is trying to say to me, and to help me to silence all the noise in my mind. Then it came to me. I remember that I had a book that at one time in my life that was really useful in helping me to focus my mind on what God wanted me to hear. In fact, I still have several copies of this book: one at each office (I work for two parishes and have two offices) and at least two copies at home. It's a book that I refer to often as a part of my job as a youth minister. Yet, I haven't picked it up to meditate on it in a long, long time.

If you haven't guessed yet, that book is the Bible. I don't know why, but when I think of doing spiritual reading, I think of authors like Matthew Kelly, Scott Hahn, Jim Beckman, and others. What I should have been thinking of first was God, the author of all life. All of the authors I have read, all of the spiritual books I have read, have, as the basis of their writing, the bible. Yet, it has been a long time since I have picked it up. I guess on some level I've thought, "Well, I've already read that." I'm not much of a fan of re-reading books, unlike my daughter who will re-read a book she likes 10-15 times, or more. I need to get back into the habit of reading the bible on a daily basis. I need to be more like my daughter, who I'm sure, on some level, realizes that she gets something new and different out of re-reading her favorite books.