The Night I Was Homeless

Over-eating. Shopping malls. Toy stores. Waiting in long lines to get the great deal. Wading through busy stores. Surfing the net to find the best price. What did you do this holiday weekend? Did you eat too much on Thursday and then spend too much the rest of the weekend? Me? Yeah, I probably ate too much on Thursday, but I didn't do any shopping. After working in retail for 12 years I hate the idea of going anywhere near a store the weekend after Thanksgiving. But millions of people nationwide went out shopping this weekend for Black Friday "deals". There were lines of people outside of toy stores and electronic stores just to save a couple of bucks. (The not-so secret industry plan is to get you into the store to save a couple of dollars on 1 item just to gouge you on other items that you buy while you are there, so are you really saving any money? The only real way to save money is to not spend it. I know, working in the industry has made me cynical....but I digress.)

I spent the weekend before Thanksgiving doing something I had never done before. I spent the weekend homeless. Yes, you heard correctly, I was "homeless" for about 18 hours. I took 8 teenagers on a homeless retreat at a parish in my diocese. This retreat is designed to heighten the awareness of homelessness to the teenagers and to simulate homelessness. They were allowed to bring only 3 items with them--and no electronics which meant...no cell phones. If you spend any time with teens these days you know that they never go anywhere without their cell phones. Many teens brought tarps to sleep on and sleeping bags. Some teens brought cardboard boxes to sleep in. In all, about 140 teens from 10 parishes in our diocese attended the retreat. The retreat was even featured on a local news station. You can read the story and watch the video here.

It was a truly moving experience that started with Mass, talks, and Eucharistic Adoration. We were served  dinner of a cup of soup, 2 crackers, and lemonade. Then the teens (and us adults) spent the night sleeping outside. It was chilly, but not cold. (Thank God we live in Florida!) Everything got wet from the dew. On Sunday morning, we got up at about 5:30, cleaned up our "campsites", and had a breakfast of 1 danish and a choice of either a cup of juice or hot chocolate.

The most moving experience for me for the whole weekend was going to Pinellas Hope. Pinellas Hope is a program of Catholic Charities in the Diocese of St. Petersburg. To give a brief summary, Pinellas Hope is also known as "Tent City". It is not a traditional homeless shelter. When the homeless arrive, they are first assigned to a tent that they can sleep in. After they get a job they can move into a "house". It is a small shack built of wood about the size of a typical home's bathroom. The newest addition to Pinellas Hope (not yet in use) is 80 transitional efficiency apartments where the homeless can move into and pay rent on. The whole mission of Pinellas Hope is to help the homeless get back on their feet and in a home and job of their own. You can read more details on their website.

What was most moving to me in going to Pinellas Hope was not seeing the homeless and the conditions they live in. It was not seeing the teens serve breakfast to the homeless. What was most moving to me was watching the teens, after serving breakfast, sit down with them and interact with the homeless. This is way outside the comfort zones of many teens. Heck....its outside my comfort zone. It was truly a moving experience because I firmly believe that you cannot solve the issues of poverty and homelessness if you keep them at arms length by writing a check or dropping food off at a food bank. (Yes, these things are necessary, but to truly break the cycle of poverty in someone's life people to get closer, to interact, to help heal some of the issues that are at the root of poverty.)

All of this brings me to the topic of this post and the last of the 7 Deadly Sins--Greed. How much did you spend this past weekend? $50? $100? $500? $1000 or more? I work part-time for a television and internet retailer answering phones and placing orders for customers. I had quite a few customers drop $500 and even $1000 on one transaction with me, and who knows how much they spent elsewhere.

What is greed? Is having wealth considered greedy? No. There is nothing wrong with having wealth. There is nothing wrong with making lots of money. God gives each of us gifts.One gift that God gives certain people is the gift of wealth. However, as in all the gifts that God gives us, He asks that we use those gifts to give Him greater glory.

Am I saying that if you spent a small fortune over the weekend that you are greedy? Certainly not, although you may be. Greed is when we take the gifts that God gives us and use them solely for our own benefit. Greed occurs when we make money, and the pursuit of it, the primary focus in our lives--when we make money and possessions our god.

So, what are we to do? Many of us have been given many blessings, financial and otherwise. I may not make much money (I have two jobs and still barely pay the bills), but I have been blessed financially because I can pay the bills. I have a roof over my head and 3 meals every day. I am in a much better financial position than those who are homeless. The first thing we need to do is be grateful for what we have. Above that, we need to be like the poor widow from Luke 21: "When he looked up he saw some wealthy people putting their offerings into the treasury and he noticed a poor widow putting in two small coins. He said, 'I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, had offered her whole livelihood." (Luke 21:1-4)

We...I....need to be like the poor widow. I'm not like her. I may not be wealthy by the standards of the U.S., but I am wealthy by the standards of the world. There are those that are less fortunate than me in third world countries, and even in my own back yard. I give only from my surplus. I need to offer my whole livelihood. I need to give until it hurts. I need to give what I can financially, and then go out "into the fields" and help those in need. I need, we all need, to be instruments of Christ to those in need--to help them out of poverty, out of pain, out of suffering, not from a distance keeping them at arms length, but face to face as the 140 teens from the Diocese of St. Petersburg did two weekends ago.

Life, Death, and a Broken Air Conditioner

Today had a really rough start around our house. I woke up early (too early, if you ask me) this morning, drenched with sweat. I got up to discover that the A/C had ceased to work....and it's Saturday, which means we have be bear the oppressive Florida heat all weekend long. The fact that the A/C broke, and on a weekend, raised my stress and frustration level to new heights. I am irritable, lashing out at my wife and kids. I am stressed about how we are going to pay for the necessary repairs. All in all, it was a horribly miserable morning in our household.

This afternoon, I had to go to a funeral for a deacon from one of the parishes I work for. After a long life and a battle with cancer, he finally went to be with our Lord. I knew the good deacon and his wife, but not well. I found myself during the Mass reflecting on life, death, and the morning I had. Life is precious. It is also very short. We should treasure each and every moment of life. Upon reflecting on this, I realized how inconsequential, how petty, my frustration is. My life, my relationship with my wife and my children, is far more important than the comfort of A/C. In the grand scheme of things, what difference does it make if I spend a couple of days without cool air. My stress over the upcoming bill to repair the issue is also a petty concern.

I had become so wrapped up in material comforts--cool air and money in the bank--that I neglected my wife. I neglected my children. I need to learn to let go of my material comforts....all of them. I need to use this weekend as an opportunity to grow from my lack of comfort. The A/C will get fixed one way or another. God has always provided us with everything that we need. He has also always provided a way for us to enjoy the comforts of air conditioning. I need to learn that my trust in God and my relationship with my family is far more important than anything else.

The Wisdom of Dumbledore

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"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." ~Albus Dumbledore

Last night I watched the fourth Harry Potter movie with my wife. I've read all 7 of the books and enjoyed them all. Now, now...don't start filling my comment box with criticisms that Harry Potter is evil. This is not a post on whether or not the Harry Potter series of books are good or bad. Rather, it is about the above quote.

There is a great amount of wisdom in those words. Dark and difficult times do lie ahead. In fact, I believe that dark and difficult times are already here. No, I'm not talking politically or economically. I'm talking specifically about life in general. Life is difficult. Yet, we all try to convince ourselves otherwise.

We live in a culture of convenience. We want what is easy. We seek instant gratification. If it takes time, if it takes energy, if it takes effort, we want to have nothing to do with it. The problem, as Dumbledore wisely points out, is that what is easy is not always what is right.

Think about that for a moment? I know what I should do, what is right. I need to strengthen my relationship with God, to pray more and read the bible more. I need to strengthen my relationship with my spouse, to spend time with her and deepen our relationship. I need to be more patient with my kids. All these things are right, yet, at least for me, none of them are easy.

Life isn't supposed to be easy. Jesus never said it would be. In fact, he said quite the opposite, "If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23). Carrying a cross is hard. Yet, it's the right thing to do. It's what Christ is asking us to do. We all "face the choice between what is right and what is easy". Which one are you going to choose?

I COMMAND YOU!

I'm not in the military, never have been. But I do know that when a soldier receives a command from his officer, he better do what he's being told to do. A direct command from your superior is a very serious thing and failure to follow through on that command could be seen as treasonous. Likewise, in the business world, when an employee receives a command from her boss, she ought to do the task she is being commanded to do or risk losing her job. This also occurs in a parent/child relationship. My kids had better do what I command them to do or suffer the consequences.

There are consequences for not doing what we are commanded to do. The soldier runs the risk of being put on trial for treason. The employee risks losing her job. Children are liable to lose privileges. So, if following commands are so important--if there are dire consequences for not doing so--then why do we take the commands that God gives us so lightly? In the book of Exodus, God gave us 10 commandments. You all know them: I am the Lord your God, you shall take no gods other than me; You shall not take God's name in vain; keep holy the sabbath; honor your mother and father; and so on (Exodus 20:1-17). These aren't mere suggestions. God did not give Moses "Ten suggestions for healthy living". He gave him ten commandments. There are consequences for not following these commandments, just as there are consequences for not following the commands of our bosses or parents.

It seems, to me, that it is much more difficult to follow God's commands. Why is that? I think, in part, it is difficult because the consequences of not following them is not as apparent, direct, or immediate. The consequence for not following your boss's command is getting fired or having some other immediate disciplinary action taken against you. The consequence for not following you parents' commands is having the Wii taken away or getting grounded. There are consequences to not following the ten commandments, but they are much more difficult to see. Those consequences are hurt, anger, loneliness, a sense of despair, and ultimately hell. It's hard to see how not keeping the sabbath leads to a feeling of despair. It's hard to see how coveting our neighbor's house leads to hurt--hurting both ourselves and our neighbor. But these consequences are much more serious than losing your job or having the Wii taken away from you. The consequences of not following God's commands have eternal ramifications.

In yesterday's Gospel, Jesus gave us a new commandment:

I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35)

Does this commandment replace the one's God gave to Moses? Certainly not. We still need to honor our parents. We still should not kill or commit adultery. What this commandment does is make it easier for us to follow the 10 commandments given to Moses. If we love like Jesus loved us then we will naturally follow those other commandments. We won't need to think about whether or not we are bearing false witness against others. We won't have the desire to steal.

What is the love of Jesus? Does it mean we need to all get together for a group hug? No. If you want to know the love of Jesus, all you have to do is look at his life. Jesus lived a life of sacrifice. He endured rejection, pain, suffering, and death. This is the love of Jesus. Sounds daunting, doesn't it? Who wants to endure all of that? This is what Jesus is asking...no, this is what Jesus is COMMANDING us to do. Failure to follow this command will have dire consequences.

The Culture of Addiction

We are a culture of addiction. Yes, there are many people that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. But many of us are addicted to money and power. We are addicted to food and our physical appearance. We are addicted to sex and instant gratification. We are addicted. Henri Nouwen, in his book The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming states:

'Addiction' might be the best word to explain the lostness that so deeply permeates contemporary society. Our addictions make us cling to what the world proclaims as the keys to self-fulfillment: accumulation of wealth and power; attainment of status and admiration; lavish consumption of food and drink, and sexual gratification without distinguishing between lust and love. These addictions create expectations that cannot but fail to satisfy our deepest needs.

We have become slaves to our passions. The voices of our world are telling us that we need to be successful, popular, beautiful, and we have given in and surrendered to these voices. We have become addicted in our pursuit of self-fulfillment and in an attempt to satisfy our deepest needs.

What, then, are our deepest needs? I think the heart of our deepest needs is the desire to love and to be loved. At the root of our addictions is the longing for love and acceptance. We are just pursing that love and acceptance in the wrong places. We are looking to the world to build our self-esteem. We are looking to the world to find love.

It is only in and through Christ that we can find love. It is only through Christ that we can build our self-esteem. It is only through Christ that we can find acceptance. Only Christ can satisfy our deepest needs. All else will leave us wanting. All else will lead us down a path to depravity.

So, how do we overcome our addictions? We must pray. We must pray that God will give us the strength and grace to overcome our addictions. And, we must fast. St. Augustine says: "Do you wish your prayer to fly toward God? Give it two wings: fasting and almsgiving." Fasting, making some small (or large) sacrifices, draws us closer to Christ. Through denying ourselves something temporal and filling it with a spirit of love and prayer, we are able to overcome our addictions and temptations. Matthew Kelly, in Rediscovering Catholicism: Journeying Toward Our Spiritual North Star states:

I am utterly convinced that if we are able to develop the inner freedom to resist the temptations that face us in the modern world, we must learn to assert the dominance of the spirit over the body, of the eternal over the temporal.

It is through fasting that we are giving graces that cannot be accomplished through prayer alone. It is through fasting that we are able to return home to God. It is through denying the temporal that we conquer our addictions and satisfy our deepest need, our need for the love of God in our lives.

Sacrificial Love

In my work as a youth minister, I come across some pretty deep and theological things. As I was doing some prep work today for a future meeting, I came across this quote from Pope John Paul II:

Love is not merely a feeling. It is an act of the will that consists of preferring in a constant manner the good of others to the good of oneself.

Wow! What a convicting statement! If I am to love others I then need to prefer the good of others over myself. I need to be willing to sacrifice myself, to let go of my desires, and to give to others without question. I love my wife, I love my children, I love my extended family and friends, but do I really and truly prefer their good over mine? Unfortunately the answer to that is, oftentimes, no.

Reflecting on this brings to mind last Sunday's Gospel reading from Mark where the rich young man wants to know what it takes to inherit eternal life. Jesus' answer to him was to "Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." (Mark 10:21). Taken at the surface, this passage is telling us to give up all of our earthly attachments, to sacrifice earthly wealth and possessions. But taking this passage deeper, we get to the heart of what Christ is calling us to--and that calling is to love.

We need to be willing to do more than just give up our earthly possessions for others. What Christ is calling us to do is to prefer the will of others over our own wills. Preferring the will of others changes the dynamic; it changes our attitude toward sacrifice. Just giving up our will for others involves an attitude of sacrifice. There is nothing wrong with sacrifice. In fact, sacrifice is necessary and important. It's our attitude about sacrifice that needs to change. Giving up our will has negative connotations, which makes sacrifice more difficult for us to do.

However, if we prefer the will of others over our own, then sacrifice becomes much easier. If we prefer to give our money to the poor rather than buying a fancy new entertainment system, then the decision to sacrifice our wills is much easier. Christ wasn't telling the rich young man to give up all his wealth because there was some poor person that needed his money. He was telling the rich young man how to love--that is, he was telling the rich young man that he needed to prefer the will of others over his own.

Christ himself preferred the will of others over his own. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for all of us through his crucifixion. Christ, in his humanness, didn't want to die, but he understood love. And that love required his death in order for us to have life. I hope and pray that someday (soon!) I may be able to understand love like Christ does.

Holy Week Reflection

"Have mercy on me, God, in your goodness, in your abundant compassion blot out my offense. Wash away all my guilt; from my sin cleanse me" (Psalm 51:3-4)

This week we experience the passion and death of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Christ's ministry was one of self sacrifice, of complete and total giving. He wanted and took nothing for Himself. His whole mission and goal in life was to give to us and, more importantly, give glory to the Father. David, in the above psalm, cries out to God for mercy and forgiveness after his affair with Bathsheba. God the Father answered his prayers through sending His Son to die for us. Christ suffered for you. He suffered for me. Christ gave everything that we may be cleansed from our sins. He died a brutal death for all of us.

We to are called to die as well. Life is not about self-gratification. Life is about having the will to die to the temptations of sin. It is about rejecting this world. It will not be easy. Christ never said following Him will be easy. As a matter of fact, I believe it is the most difficult thing any of us can do--letting go, that is. We will be rejected as Christ was rejected. We will suffer as Christ suffered. We may want to turn away and reject what Christ is asking us to do. Christ didn't want to suffer and die. In the garden of Gethsemane he cried out "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me" (Luke 22:42). None of us want to suffer either.

But Christ could see beyond the suffering. He knew that after the suffering comes the resurrection! Christ could see beyond the pain, the rejection, the anguish. Likewise, we also need to see beyond the suffering, beyond the rejection. Will this world reject us? YES! Will we be resurrected if we remain faithful to the Lord? YES! We need to focus on our own resurrection, not our own passion. Keeping our eyes focused on the resurrection will allow us to do as David says: "I will teach the wicked your ways, that sinners may return to you." (Psalm 52:15)