why? Why? WHY?

Why does God have to keep hitting me over the head? At the beginning of the week I had a conversation with my wife about my need to be more disciplined. I told her I need to have more focus--in my work, in my prayer life, in my relationship with her and my children. Several events occurred this week that reminded me of the need for more discipline in my life. And then today, I pick up the Church bulletin for this coming weekend. (One of the perks of working for the Church is getting an "advance copy" of the parish bulletin.) Each week the pastor writes a letter to the parishioners. This week he wrote this:

In the letter to the Hebrews we read: "At the time, all discipline seems a cause not for joy but for pain, yet later, it brings the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who are trained by it." We are all tempted to seek the easiest way in everything and to want to make things easier for those we love. But it is important to discern what is the best for them because discipline in the right measure helps us more than indulgence.

More on discipline. Regular readers of my blog know that I have written on discipline before. I have written about it here, here, and here, to name a few. So, why does God keep hitting me over the head with discipline? Well....I think it's because I'm not listening. I keep falling into the same trap over and over again. The Devil really knows how to get me. He just distracts me and gets me to waste time on insignificant things instead of focusing my time and energy on the work of the Lord.

The problem with discipline is that it requires so much....well, discipline. And, as we read in the letter to the Hebrews, "all discipline seems a cause not for joy, but for pain." Discipline is hard, and initially there seems to be no fruit from a life of discipline. A life of laziness and indulgence provides an instant satisfaction. It requires no effort, no work. But it ends in a life of misery. I know. That's why my wife and I were talking about discipline at the beginning of the week. She was asking me why I was so miserable, why I have lost my passion. After really looking at it and my life, I discovered that it was because I had lost my discipline. Discipline may not bring an instant joy, but one who is disciplined will, with time, enjoy "the peaceful fruit of righteousness."

The Sloth

Have you ever had a big project to do, some big task at work or assignment at school? How do you respond to these projects and tasks? As for me, I'm a lazy procrastinator. In school, I tended to put off big projects and studying for exams until the last possible moment. And then I scrambled to put everything together as quickly as possible. It was never my best work, but I survived school on B's and C's. I did enough just to get by.

The same attitude, unfortunately, has carried over into my professional life (I hope my boss doesn't read this!) Prior to becoming a youth minister, I was a financial advisor. The job was set in a high pressure sales environment. There was no room for laziness or procrastination. I had to be at the top of my game in order to be successful. I knew this going into the position, but I convinced myself that I could overcome my natural inclination towards laziness. And I did great for a while. Unfortunately I eventually succumbed to the sin of sloth. Don't get me wrong...I did my job, but I didn't work as hard as I should have in order to build my business into a successful one. It eventually cost me my job when I was let go for failing to meet sales goals.

I hate to admit it, but the same laziness, the same procrastination I suffered from educationally, and still struggle with professionally, has seeped its way into my spiritual life. I don't pray like I should. I don't put forth the effort that I know I need to put forth in order to do God's work in this world. I know that I need to spend more time in prayer, but I don't. I even have it scheduled into my day, but I keep putting it off until the day is over. I know that I need to find a new spiritual director to help keep me focused, but I don't.

When you look at Jesus, you don't see a procrastinator. You don't see him sitting around with his feet up, taking it easy. He had a mission, given to him by his Father. And he had a deadline. He knew he was going to leave this world. He worked hard every day, rising before dawn (Mk 1:35) and not stopping until the day's work was done. We may be lured to think that it was easy for him to work so hard. He is, after all, God. But sometimes we forget that he was a man as well. He faced the same struggles, the same pressures, the same temptations that we all face.Thomas Williams, in A Heart Like His, points out: "Sometimes he woke up tired, sometimes he slept badly on the uneven ground, sometimes he awoke with a headache or a backache, and sometimes he surely felt like rolling over and sleeping a few more hours." But he didn't. He was well aware of his mission, and his time line to accomplish that mission. There was no time for laziness and procrastination. There was work to do.

We all have a mission. God has given each and every one of us a project to complete. No on can complete your mission but you. No one can complete my mission but me. And we have a deadline. We need to be as focused on our mission as Jesus was focused on his mission.

The problem that I, and many others, fall into is not knowing what our mission is. How can we fulfill our mission if we don't know what it is? That is where prayer comes in. If we want to be disciplined enough to complete the mission God has for us, then we need to be disciplined enough to pray for that mission. We need to spend time every day in prayer, asking God to give us our mission.

I know what my mission is. I've at least discovered that much in my prayer. That doesn't mean I can stop praying. Even Christ took out time alone to pray. I need to pray that God can help me carry out my mission. I need to pray for the same zeal and discipline that Christ had in carrying out his mission. For my mission from God is far more important than a school project. I can't get by with just a B or a C. I have far more that a job on the line. My salvation is on the line. I need to ace this one.

I'm Making Some Radical Changes!

I need to make some radical changes in my life. I need to be less selfish, lazy, and unfocused. I need more discipline in all aspects of my life: spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and physically. I feel like I've been saying this for years, however I don't think I've ever really taken myself and my need to change seriously. If I had, I would have done it, right?

So, yes, I need to make some radical changes...changes in the way I live my life, but also changes in my attitude. I need to start taking seriously my need to change. I've heard that it takes 4-6 weeks to break bad habits and create new ones. With Lent starting in less than two weeks, its time I start taking my need to change seriously and to create new, good habits to replace the old, bad habits I currently have. So here's what I'm going to do:

1. Prayer. Duh! I should be doing this anyway, but you know what...I haven't been praying as consistently as I should. I work for a church, so I am committing to get in front of the Blessed Sacrament every work day to spend some time with Our Lord. It should seem easy, right? I've tried this before, but I've been inconsistent. I haven't been taking it seriously enough. I need to believe that there is nothing more important than prayer, that prayer is to the soul what water is to the body. I can't survive without it. I'm going to schedule prayer into my day, and I am going to stick to my commitment.
2. Fasting. I wrote a blog post on the importance fasting just last week. I also committed to fast every Friday. Well, here I am barely a week into it, and I've already failed. Again, I'm not taking it seriously.I need to understand and believe that fasting is good not only for my body, but also for my soul. I need to be willing to make small sacrifices in order to purify my soul. And I need to do it with a spirit of prayer, and not out of a sense of obligation.
3. Spiritual Reading. I love to read! I always have. It's part of the reason why I obtained a bachelor's degree in literature. I need to spend time every day reading something spiritual. I need to expand my mind spiritually and intellectually and am committing to read every day during Lent. I plan on reading The Gargoyle Code by Fr. Dwight Longenecker. I'm really excited about this book and the spiritual growth I hope to gain from it. If you don't know who Fr. Longenecker is, check out his blog, Standing on My Head.
4. Discipline. I will remain focused and disciplined at work and at home. I will not allow distractions to keep me from doing the important work in my family, on the job, and in the above three goals for Lent. To help with that goal, I am going to stay away from Facebook and twitter throughout the course of Lent. I have set up my blog to automatically post new articles to those sites to keep my friends, family, and followers informed.

I know that I am committing to a lot this Lent. Some may say that I am taking on too much. Maybe I am. But radical change calls for radical action. This is all stuff I should be doing anyway, and Lent poses the perfect opportunity to get my life back on track spiritually, physically, intellectually, and emotionally.

What are you doing for Lent?

Jesus Is Irrelevant!

Yep, you read it correctly! Jesus is irrelevant. The Catholic Church, too, is irrelevant. We, as a people, have become enlightened and no longer need the restrictive rules and guidelines set forth by Christ and the Church. The Church is run by a bunch of old curmudgeons. That's right, I said curmudgeons. They have no right to tell me what to do or how to live my life! Their rules are outdated and arbitrary.

This is how I started my high school youth group meeting the other day. It certainly got their attention (got yours too!). I was pointing out the way many people feel about the Catholic Church and religion in general. It's a shame that so many people feel this way.

I believe that many people have this bad attitude towards Christianity and religion because they feel it restricts their freedom. They feel that the teachings of Christ and the Church is too restrictive and that they need to change their rules (or eliminate them) in an effort to be more "inclusive" and respectful of others who feel differently.

What they fail to see, is that Christ and the Church calls us to a life of discipline, not to restrict us or exclude us, but to lead us to a life of happiness. Christ doesn't want us to be disciplined for His sake, but for ours. Lack of discipline leads to slavery. I used the example of an alcoholic in my youth group meeting. No one wakes up in the morning and says "I want to be an alcoholic!" But, through a lack of discipline in their alcohol consumption, alcoholics eventually become addicted to it and slaves to it. You can take that same analogy and apply it to any vice--money, sex, drugs, etc. Without rules--without discipline--there is no freedom.

The Catholic Church is not irrelevant. The rules in place are there for a reason. The Church calls us to a life of discipline to free us from the bonds of sin. The more I come to understand the things the Catholic Church teaches the more I see that living a life of discipline is an important aspect in our faith journey. Now, if only I could be more disciplined...

Training for Devotion

My mom took my name, Timothy Daniel, from the bible. She chose my name at a time in her life where, as she tells me, she wasn't even going to church, much less picking up a bible. But for some reason, when she was trying to decide on my name, she picked it up. It is that reason that St. Paul's letters to Timothy have always held a special place in my heart. Every time I read them I am affected by them in some way. They seem relevant to my life. It's been a while since I read those letters to Timothy, so I picked my bible up today and began reading Paul's 1st Letter to Timothy. And, again, I was moved by what I read.

The passage that struck me today is from the 4th chapter of that first letter:

Avoid profane and silly myths. Train yourself for devotion, for, while physical training is of limited value, devotion is valuable in every respect, since it holds a promise of life both for the present and for the future. (1 Tim 4:7-8)

After I read that passage, I started reflecting on what devotion means and how I can train myself for it.

There are, in actuality, several ways we need to show devotion in our lives, each of them important. The first way we show devotion is in our work--our jobs and our schooling. We show this devotion by doing our jobs to the best of our abilities and making the best of all situations we encounter in our work, whether good or bad.

The second form of devotion that we need to show is with our children, if blessed to have them. We need to be a committed and devoted parents. We need to make ourselves available to them when they need us. The discipline we give our children needs to be done out of love and not out of our selfishness. This devotion is more important than our careers, and we need to remember that. We need to be willing to have a balance between our devotion to work and our devotion to our children. And we need to make our employers aware that our family is important and sometimes has to come before our jobs.

The third devotion we need to have in our lives is to our spouses. This one is the most critical and most important of our "earthly" devotions. We made a commitment to our spouses when we said those vows, when we entered into the Sacrament of Matrimony. We need to uphold that commitment, that covenant that was made. This devotion needs to take priority over both our jobs and our children. If we let this devotion fall between the cracks then our families, and possibly our careers and lives, will fall apart. We need to spend time with our spouses--talking with them, and not just about the weather or the football game. We need to open our hearts and souls to our spouses and share our joys, our fears, our insecurities with them. This is particularly difficult for me to do. But I find that when I am successful in opening up to my wife it truly does deepen my love for and devotion to her.

The final--and by far the most important--devotion is our devotion to our faith--our devotion to Christ. Without Christ in our lives we can do nothing. Just as St. Paul said, "physical training is of limited value, devotion is valuable in every respect, since it holds a promise of life both for the present and for the future." Placing our hope, our devotion, in Christ, we are enabled to be devoted to our spouses, our children, and our jobs. We cannot be truly devoted to anything if we are not first devoted to Christ. Everything else falls apart with out Him.

So, we need to "train" ourselves for devotion. We need to put forth our best efforts in our jobs. We need to spend time with our children. We need to pour out our hearts to our spouses. And, most importantly, we need to pray. How does one "train" himself in these devotions? We do as any good athlete would. We practice. And then we practice some more. The best athletes are the ones who are deeply committed to their sport. If we can be deeply committed to just one of these devotions in our lives--our devotion to Christ--then all of the other devotions we have in our lives will fall into place naturally.

Why does the church have so many rules?

"Our dialogue and interaction with the Church is designed to help us become the-best-version-of-ourselves. It is for this reason that in every age the Church proclaims the unchanging truths of the life and teachings of Jesus Christ -- the Gospel. In doing so, she invites us to a life of discipline…There are disciplines and practices that must be adhered to and abided by if we are to walk faithfully along the path of salvation, fulfill our destiny, and enjoy the happiness with which God wants to fill us. Discipline is an integral part of the adventure of salvation." (Matthew Kelly)

 
 

We are being called to be the best that we can be. This requires us to have discipline. The Catholic Church is not an organization with rules and regulations designed to force us into Her way of thinking or to restrict us and our freedoms. The Catholic Church, in Her infinite wisdom, understands our need for discipline. The teachings, guidelines, and rules set forth by the Church are not to restrict us but to give us guidelines with which to live a life of discipline.

 
 

For example, the Church teaches that artificial contraception is not an appropriate form of family planning. Pope Paul VI, in his encyclical Humanae Vitae predicted three consequences of artificial contraception. The first consequence he sites is that it could "open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards." Marital infidelity has indeed grown and moral standards have been lowered since the use of artificial contraceptives have become widespread. He also says that "a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument of his own desires." The proliferation of sex in movies, television shows, and even commercials indicate that our society treats women as objects. The pornography industry also indicates the degradation of women. The third consequence Paul VI stated was a fear of "this power passing into the hands of public authorities who care little for the precepts of the moral law." Look at what countries like China have done. China has enacted a one child rule, enforcing it through artificial contraception and abortion. The use of artificial contraception removes from a marriage (and all relationships) discipline. You don't need to have discipline if you remove the consequences of your actions, which is precisely what artificial contraception does. The lack of sexual discipline in our lives due to the use of artificial contraceptives has led us down a path of increased marital infidelity, reduced women to objects, and given governments the power to make moral decisions for us.

 
 

As you can see, the Church does not set forth rules and guidelines to restrict us. I believe that these rules are there to guide us and to help us have more personal discipline. The above example is probably the most well known and controversial of the Church's recent teachings. Many people disagree with the Church's teaching on contraception. Only about 4% of Catholics actually adhere to this teaching. The Church does not want to restrict us and our freedoms. The Church is there to guide us and to help us have some self-discipline. "Christ proposes a life of discipline not for its own sake, and certainly not to stifle or control us; rather, he proposes discipline as the key to freedom." (Matthew Kelly) There is a freedom we receive from living a disciplined life. We need to be aware of our human weakness. Our inherent weakness limits us, restricts us. Living a life of discipline will strengthen us to break free from the temptations and sins we face every day. Living our lives in a disciplined manner will not only enhance the our own lives, but it will also strengthen our society as a whole.