Envy is an easy sin to fall into, isn't it? We look at what others have. We look at their successes, their possessions, their looks, their talents, their friends, and we ask ourselves, "Why don't I have that?" We look at what others have that we don't and we become envious. Thomas Aquinas said that "envy is sorrow at another person's good." Gore Vidal had this to say of envy: "When a friend of mine succeeds, something in me dies."
Envy is an easy trap to fall into. I've fallen into it many times. I've never been successful in the eyes of the world. I don't have a big, fancy house. I don't drive a big, fancy car. I don't have a big bank account or a career that the world would say is powerful, influential, or important. In fact, when I took a job in youth ministry, I had an acquaintance that reacted with: "Oh....well....At least its a job, right?" Clearly the world does not see a job in youth ministry as being successful.
A number of years ago, this lack of worldly success bothered me a lot. I was envious of friends and acquaintances who held high and lofty positions and made lots of money. I was envious of the cars they drove and the houses they lived in. I was envious of the fact that they could spend money on anything they wanted and not be afraid of not having enough money to pay the bills or buy groceries. I wanted to be like them, to have their successes. At the time I was working as a manager at Office Depot....well, not even a manager, just an assistant manager. I talked to my wife about leaving my career in retail and doing something else, something that would give me financial success, something that would give me status.
So, I left Office Depot. I entered into a whole new world to me, a world that I thought would give me status, success, and everything I wanted from the world. I spent several months going through a rigorous training program and upon passing my licensing exams, I officially became a financial advisor with a top advisory firm. I held 4 different licenses that allowed me to trade stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and to sell insurance products. I had the tools necessary to advise millionaires on what to do with their money. I was about to become incredibly successful.
I remember that first summer working in my new job. I had not quite finished my training, but had gone through enough of the process to be allowed to attend a Summer Regional Conference at a luxurious resort at Universal Studios in Orlando. I was on cloud nine! I could rub elbows with the rich and successful advisors of the firm. The last evening of the conference was the highlight of the whole weekend for me and my wife. It was the awards banquet. Advisors were given rewards for many different things that night, but the ones that fascinated me the most were the ones that rewarded the most successful advisors. As the million dollar producers (and greater!) got up to receive their rewards I could think of nothing but "I've done it! I'm here. I'm on the verge of tremendous success. That is going to be me receiving that reward in a couple of years!"
The first six months in the field were great! I still wasn't making a lot of money...in fact I was making less money than I did at Office Depot, but I knew that with time and a lot of work I could eventually make substantially more. I was no longer envious of the success of others. I was, in my eyes, successful in the eyes of the world. I also carried about me an unhealthy sense of pride at my status.
Unfortunately, it didn't last. The financial services industry, particularly financial advising, is a very difficult industry to be successful in. You have to be a very good salesman, capable of convincing people of doing business with you. You have to be persistent, and incredibly aggressive. I am none of those things. I had all the knowledge to help my clients and potential clients. I knew how to protect their assets. I knew how to make them money. I just couldn't convince them to do business with me. And after two and a half years of missed sale after missed sale, I was let go for not making my sales goals.
My envy got the best of me. I wanted so much to be like other people that I forgot who I truly was. I'm not a salesman. I knew that going into the job. But I had convinced myself that I could do it. I ended up losing my job and being unemployed for 7 months. My envy ended up hurting me. It ended up hurting my family.
God has given us unique gifts and talents. Not everyone is created equal. God made the world radically unequal because we all have different missions. I'm learning to discover mine, instead of trying to pursue the same mission that God has for others.
So now I'm working in youth ministry. For many people that is a step backwards from even working as an assistant manager at Office Depot. It certainly was for that acquaintance who had such a negative reaction to learning about my new job, who, by the way, was a colleague at that financial advisory firm. I've come to learn that this is my mission. This is what God wants me to do, where He wants me to be. I've learned to let go of envy in my life...at least in this area of my life. And you know what? I'm a lot happier now than when I was pursuing my envious desires. I thought that pursing worldly fame and success would bring me happiness. All it brought was pain and suffering. My life is more peaceful, more relaxed, more enjoyable. Do I still wish I had more? Do I still stress about finances and money? Sure. But in those moments I try to remember that God is in control. He has a plan for me and I need to surrender to it.
So, how do you overcome envy? What's the antidote? Admiration. Gratitude. Kindness.
Be grateful for the gifts God has given you. Be grateful for the gifts He has given to others. Stop comparing yourself to others. You have your own gifts and talents. Realize that you have your own mission, and it is not the same as the mission God has given to others. Pursue that mission, and be content with what you have. No. Not content. Be joyful with the gifts you have.