Pride

As a youth minister, one of my responsibilities is to find topics to discuss with the teens. Several months ago, I was praying about the upcoming year (which starts in a few short weeks). I prayed about what the Lord wanted me to do with the teens. I prayed over the course of several weeks about it and was not getting a clear idea of where God wanted me to go. At the same time I picked up a couple of books for my own spiritual nourishment. As it turns out I read 2 books back to back about the seven deadly sins and their opposite virtues. I did not intentionally pick out books on this subject...it just happened that way. All of a sudden it dawned on me. God was leading me to discuss the 7 deadly sins with the teens in youth group. Through much prayer and research, I have written a program for my meetings. Over the course of the next few weeks, I will write blog posts on the 7 deadly sins here on my blog. Today, I discuss the first sin....pride.


Pride.

We are all proud in one way or another. So, let me ask....is pride good or is it bad? You will find many people that will tell you that there is nothing wrong with being proud. They will tell you that they are proud of their accomplishments. They will tell you that they are proud of their family. And there is nothing wrong with that. We should be proud of our accomplishments. We should be proud of our family. This pride is good pride. This pride is the reasonable, justified, and balanced sense of joy, respect, and satisfaction in our (or another's) accomplishments and abilities. This pride is not sinful.

Pride is a very sneaky sin. There is a very fine line between good pride and bad pride. Bad pride is the unreasonable, unjustified, and terribly unbalanced sense of joy and satisfaction in our abilities and accomplishments. It fosters a spirit of selfishness, arrogance, restlessness, ingratitude, and an over-inflated sense of worth. This pride is sinful. This is the pride we need to avoid.

With pride, you make everything about you. You attempt to make yourself the center of the universe. Pride oftentimes creeps into your life unnoticed. Before you even realize it you see yourself as better than other people: you're smarter because you had more education, you're more powerful because of your high rank on the job, you're richer because of the size of your house and bank account. The stealthiness of pride works in such a way that before you even realize it you are telling other people how to live their lives and what to do. You say that your intentions are good, that you are just trying to help out the other guy, but deep down inside you puff our your chest because you think you know better than anyone else.

I have never seen myself as a prideful person....until recently. I'm the quiet, reserved guy, that you don't hear much from. I normally keep my mouth shut unless I have something important and pertinent to say. But I, too, have fallen into the trap of pride. I've recognized where I've fallen, and have written about it before in my blog. You can read more about my own struggle with pride here.

The proud person is not a happy person. The proud person is sad because the world does not revolve around him despite his prideful efforts to make it revolve around him. He will never be satisfied because the world will never revolve around him. You may get an immediate sense of satisfaction through a prideful word or action, but that satisfaction will soon fade, leaving you with the desire for more. Pride, at its core, is turning yourself into god. It is saying that you are responsible for your accomplishments, that you are superior to God.

So, how do we counteract pride? With humility. Unfortunately, in our culture humility often brings to mind a preconceived notion of being meek, quiet, timid, and shy--and having an attitude of passiveness and never taking credit for one's own accomplishments. This is not what humility is.

Humility is the recognition and conscious realization that we are creatures, not the Creator; that we are in need of God; and that it is He, and He alone, who has given us life and blessed us with the characteristics that uniquely define you and me. Humility helps us to realize that there is always room for improvement in our life, and that we need God, just as children need their parents.

How do we become humble? Put God first. Put the needs of others ahead of your own needs. And keep your mouth shut when you want to say something prideful. Don't draw attention to yourself, instead praise the accomplishments of others.

Pride will never lead to true happiness, no matter how good it feels to puff out your chest and show off. The humble person has a peace and a joy that cannot be matched. Lord, teach us humility.

Exciting News!

I am now a featured writer at Catholic Dads, writing a column titled "A Father's Faith". Each Friday, I will write about prayer and spirituality as it relates to being a Catholic and a father. Check it out!

UPDATE (8/10/10)

EVEN MORE EXCITING NEWS!

I just had an article published on the Catholic Exchange website, titled Life's Lessons in the Rosary. Check it out!

What a Week!

It's been a very interesting and trying week at my house this past week. We, as a family, encountered some difficult trials and struggles. Things are settling down now and getting back to normal. Thank the Lord!

In the midst of it all, I tried to keep telling myself to keep it all in perspective.  Our struggles through the past week pale in comparison to some of the struggles other families deal with. A good friend of ours, who has been struggling with cancer the the past two years, had an appointment last Thursday to find out if the cancer has come back (Please pray for Scott and his family). When I think about the struggles that Scott, his wife, and his four children are going through right now, it makes my struggles over the past week seem selfish. We know other families who are also struggling with illness, unemployment, and other major issues. When I think about these struggles that other families are having I think: "Why am I letting such a minor struggle get to me so much?" Yet I did. I went from one extreme to the other. I went to a sense of calmness and thinking it's not such a big deal to anger and stress.

I heard, on our local Catholic radio station last week, the DJ say something that gave me pause in light of my struggles. He said that oftentimes we feel that we are out on a limb, and during those times we feel that we keep getting pushed to the edge of that limb, where the branch is smaller and weaker. It's scary to face the prospect of falling out of the tree when we are so close to the end of the limb. However, that is where the fruit is. And, if we do fall off, God will be there to catch us.

Our struggles, no matter how minor or how great, are like approaching the end of that limb. And when we get there, we will find fruit. There is fruit to bear in our struggles. We just have to trust God and go as close to the edge of the limb that He asks us to. We have to trust that He will catch us if we do fall. As the Psalm says, "But you, Lord, are a shield around me; my glory, you keep my head high" (Psalm 3:4).

Instead of fighting those struggles we face, we need to embrace them, and allow God to work through them, allow Him to keep our heads high. Instead of getting angry with God, we need to reach out to Him. He will guide us only if we allow Him to.

"Whenever I cried out to the Lord, I was answered from the holy mountain." (Psalm 3:5)

A Wise Investment

When I was a financial advisor, I would have clients come into my office and tell me about a guy at the office who made a lot of money off of a high risk investment. They would tell me that they wanted some of the same investment or something like it. I would respond with:

Good for him! I'm glad he was lucky enough to get a big gain out of that investment. But it could have, and more often than not it does, had a very detrimental effect on his portfolio. You see, investments like that, although they can provide a short term gain, often end in a long term loss. There is a tremendous amount of risk in those types of investments. People who see gains from them receive those gains more often from luck than they do from any skill or knowledge of the market. So, I, as your advisor, do not recommend you put any money into these high risk investments. Rather, I recommend a long term investment strategy that may not have high short term gains, but in the end will provide a more steady revenue growth.

 My clients would listen to me and my advice, and most of them would agree with me. However, sometimes, I would have a client insist that I buy some of this investment for him. I would tell him that I work for him and I will do what he instructs me to do with his money. I would also be firm with him about the fact that I do not recommend what he is asking me to do. I would tell him that I just don't see it as a wise investment.

How do we invest our life, our time and our energy? Do we make decisions that provide us a short term gain? For example, are our decisions based on lust, pride, envy, or gluttony? There is a very attractive short term gain to these decisions. They fulfill carnal desires and puff up our self-esteem. But, what is the long term gain from making decisions based on these sins? More often than not, there is none. Rather, the long term effects of sin leads to pain and suffering in this life, and, ultimately, life in hell.

We should make wise investments with our life, investments that have a long term benefit instead of a short term gain. We should be chaste, humble, kind, and temperate. There may be no visible short term gains from living a life of virtue. It is a hard life, one that requires a lot of work. But the rewards are far greater than the short-term gain of sin. The rewards lead to a stronger will, better relationships, and a peace that cannot be matched. The rewards are eternal life.

Christ is recommending to us the same thing I recommended to my clients. He is advising us to choose the investments that have a long term gain instead of a short term sense of pleasure and satisfaction. If we choose a life of sin, He won't stop us, but He will tell us that He doesn't see it as a wise investment. He advises a life of virtue. Now that is a wise investment.

It's Hot in the Desert

I feel like I'm in the desert when it comes to my faith. I've felt that way for months. I read a blog post today that was like a kick in the butt. I really needed to hear what Pete said. I need to get on my knees and ask God how I can become a better version of myself. I really need to pray that the Holy Spirit commands me to do His will. Check out Pete's blog post here....Command Me, Lord.

The Sloth

Have you ever had a big project to do, some big task at work or assignment at school? How do you respond to these projects and tasks? As for me, I'm a lazy procrastinator. In school, I tended to put off big projects and studying for exams until the last possible moment. And then I scrambled to put everything together as quickly as possible. It was never my best work, but I survived school on B's and C's. I did enough just to get by.

The same attitude, unfortunately, has carried over into my professional life (I hope my boss doesn't read this!) Prior to becoming a youth minister, I was a financial advisor. The job was set in a high pressure sales environment. There was no room for laziness or procrastination. I had to be at the top of my game in order to be successful. I knew this going into the position, but I convinced myself that I could overcome my natural inclination towards laziness. And I did great for a while. Unfortunately I eventually succumbed to the sin of sloth. Don't get me wrong...I did my job, but I didn't work as hard as I should have in order to build my business into a successful one. It eventually cost me my job when I was let go for failing to meet sales goals.

I hate to admit it, but the same laziness, the same procrastination I suffered from educationally, and still struggle with professionally, has seeped its way into my spiritual life. I don't pray like I should. I don't put forth the effort that I know I need to put forth in order to do God's work in this world. I know that I need to spend more time in prayer, but I don't. I even have it scheduled into my day, but I keep putting it off until the day is over. I know that I need to find a new spiritual director to help keep me focused, but I don't.

When you look at Jesus, you don't see a procrastinator. You don't see him sitting around with his feet up, taking it easy. He had a mission, given to him by his Father. And he had a deadline. He knew he was going to leave this world. He worked hard every day, rising before dawn (Mk 1:35) and not stopping until the day's work was done. We may be lured to think that it was easy for him to work so hard. He is, after all, God. But sometimes we forget that he was a man as well. He faced the same struggles, the same pressures, the same temptations that we all face.Thomas Williams, in A Heart Like His, points out: "Sometimes he woke up tired, sometimes he slept badly on the uneven ground, sometimes he awoke with a headache or a backache, and sometimes he surely felt like rolling over and sleeping a few more hours." But he didn't. He was well aware of his mission, and his time line to accomplish that mission. There was no time for laziness and procrastination. There was work to do.

We all have a mission. God has given each and every one of us a project to complete. No on can complete your mission but you. No one can complete my mission but me. And we have a deadline. We need to be as focused on our mission as Jesus was focused on his mission.

The problem that I, and many others, fall into is not knowing what our mission is. How can we fulfill our mission if we don't know what it is? That is where prayer comes in. If we want to be disciplined enough to complete the mission God has for us, then we need to be disciplined enough to pray for that mission. We need to spend time every day in prayer, asking God to give us our mission.

I know what my mission is. I've at least discovered that much in my prayer. That doesn't mean I can stop praying. Even Christ took out time alone to pray. I need to pray that God can help me carry out my mission. I need to pray for the same zeal and discipline that Christ had in carrying out his mission. For my mission from God is far more important than a school project. I can't get by with just a B or a C. I have far more that a job on the line. My salvation is on the line. I need to ace this one.

Life, Death, and a Broken Air Conditioner

Today had a really rough start around our house. I woke up early (too early, if you ask me) this morning, drenched with sweat. I got up to discover that the A/C had ceased to work....and it's Saturday, which means we have be bear the oppressive Florida heat all weekend long. The fact that the A/C broke, and on a weekend, raised my stress and frustration level to new heights. I am irritable, lashing out at my wife and kids. I am stressed about how we are going to pay for the necessary repairs. All in all, it was a horribly miserable morning in our household.

This afternoon, I had to go to a funeral for a deacon from one of the parishes I work for. After a long life and a battle with cancer, he finally went to be with our Lord. I knew the good deacon and his wife, but not well. I found myself during the Mass reflecting on life, death, and the morning I had. Life is precious. It is also very short. We should treasure each and every moment of life. Upon reflecting on this, I realized how inconsequential, how petty, my frustration is. My life, my relationship with my wife and my children, is far more important than the comfort of A/C. In the grand scheme of things, what difference does it make if I spend a couple of days without cool air. My stress over the upcoming bill to repair the issue is also a petty concern.

I had become so wrapped up in material comforts--cool air and money in the bank--that I neglected my wife. I neglected my children. I need to learn to let go of my material comforts....all of them. I need to use this weekend as an opportunity to grow from my lack of comfort. The A/C will get fixed one way or another. God has always provided us with everything that we need. He has also always provided a way for us to enjoy the comforts of air conditioning. I need to learn that my trust in God and my relationship with my family is far more important than anything else.