The Culture of Addiction

We are a culture of addiction. Yes, there are many people that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. But many of us are addicted to money and power. We are addicted to food and our physical appearance. We are addicted to sex and instant gratification. We are addicted. Henri Nouwen, in his book The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming states:

'Addiction' might be the best word to explain the lostness that so deeply permeates contemporary society. Our addictions make us cling to what the world proclaims as the keys to self-fulfillment: accumulation of wealth and power; attainment of status and admiration; lavish consumption of food and drink, and sexual gratification without distinguishing between lust and love. These addictions create expectations that cannot but fail to satisfy our deepest needs.

We have become slaves to our passions. The voices of our world are telling us that we need to be successful, popular, beautiful, and we have given in and surrendered to these voices. We have become addicted in our pursuit of self-fulfillment and in an attempt to satisfy our deepest needs.

What, then, are our deepest needs? I think the heart of our deepest needs is the desire to love and to be loved. At the root of our addictions is the longing for love and acceptance. We are just pursing that love and acceptance in the wrong places. We are looking to the world to build our self-esteem. We are looking to the world to find love.

It is only in and through Christ that we can find love. It is only through Christ that we can build our self-esteem. It is only through Christ that we can find acceptance. Only Christ can satisfy our deepest needs. All else will leave us wanting. All else will lead us down a path to depravity.

So, how do we overcome our addictions? We must pray. We must pray that God will give us the strength and grace to overcome our addictions. And, we must fast. St. Augustine says: "Do you wish your prayer to fly toward God? Give it two wings: fasting and almsgiving." Fasting, making some small (or large) sacrifices, draws us closer to Christ. Through denying ourselves something temporal and filling it with a spirit of love and prayer, we are able to overcome our addictions and temptations. Matthew Kelly, in Rediscovering Catholicism: Journeying Toward Our Spiritual North Star states:

I am utterly convinced that if we are able to develop the inner freedom to resist the temptations that face us in the modern world, we must learn to assert the dominance of the spirit over the body, of the eternal over the temporal.

It is through fasting that we are giving graces that cannot be accomplished through prayer alone. It is through fasting that we are able to return home to God. It is through denying the temporal that we conquer our addictions and satisfy our deepest need, our need for the love of God in our lives.

The Eucharist As the Way to Change the Culture of Death

Over the past several months, I have been planning a Respect Life Youth Rally for the youth of the Diocese of St. Petersburg. It has been a labor of love. Tonight, at the rally, as a part of the prayer service which includes Eucharistic Adoration, I will be giving a reflection. Below is that reflection the I will be giving:

Most of us here tonight are survivors. If you were born after January 22, 1973, then you are a survivor. I am a survivor. All of us born after the legalization of abortion in the United States are missing friends. We are all missing classmates. Some of you may even be missing siblings.

It is unfortunate, but we are living in a culture of death. We are living in a culture that places a higher value on polar bears and turtles than it does human life. We have elected officials that believe that it is more important to give a woman the “right to choose” than it is to protect innocent babies. We live in a culture that believes that the choice for a woman to have a baby begins after she is pregnant and not before she has sex.

For 37 years now babies have been killed. For 37 years the culture of death has been allowed to grow and permeate everything in our society. It seems as though the battle is futile—that there is so much resistance to changing the laws.

Think for a moment. How many of you think you can change the culture of death? How many of you think you can actually have an impact, that you can influence the leaders of our country to protect life from the moment of conception?

Angela talked to you tonight about how to defend a pro-life stance. She shared with you some answers you can give your friends, your teachers, to refute their arguments. She shared with you the truth. I also shared with you earlier something you can do. You can start a pro-life club in your churches and schools. I want to encourage you to do so. But still…do you think having the knowledge Angela gave you and starting a pro-life club will change anything? Do you believe that you can have an impact...even armed with the information given you tonight?

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus says: “Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Let me repeat: “IF YOU HAVE FAITH THE SIZE OF A MUSTARD SEED, YOU WILL SAY TO THIS MOUNTAIN, ‘MOVE FROM HERE TO THERE,’ AND IT WILL MOVE.”

Nothing is impossible with faith in God. The gospels are rich with examples of this. You may say, “I can’t have that kind of faith.” or “Only saints have that kind of faith, and I’m not a saint.” Let me tell you something…you are called to be a saint. We all are. You and I are called to have that kind of faith. I won’t lie to you…I don’t have that kind of faith. But it is something I am striving for. It is something we should all strive for.

Let me tell you something else…We are not asking you to move mountains tonight. All we are asking you to do is to have enough faith to change the culture of death in this country. And trust me, having the faith to change the culture of death in this country is far easier than having the faith to move mountains.

So, how do you have that kind of faith? How do you have the kind of faith required to change the culture of death, to move mountains?

In a few moments, Father John is going to bring Jesus out of the tabernacle and put Him on the altar. He is going to expose the Eucharist. You see, we as Catholics believe that Christ is truly present in the Eucharist. We receive His Body and Blood each Sunday at Mass.

If you truly want to change the culture of death we live in, the first thing you must do is to believe that Christ is truly present in the Eucharist. You must then allow the Eucharist to transform you when you receive it.  Only Christ can transform us from unbelief to belief. Only Christ can transform us to have the faith to move mountains.

Does this mean that receiving the Eucharist this Sunday will allow you to move mountains? No. Transformation is a process. It is a journey. We must allow Christ to transform us each week at Mass. If we allow Christ into our bodies, into our souls, then the transformation will begin. Our faith will continue to grow at each time we allow the transforming power of the Eucharist to work in us.

So, if you want to change the culture of death, you must stand up for life to your friends, your classmates, your teachers. And you must pray. Pray tonight that God may give you the grace to open your hearts to the transforming graces in the Eucharist. Pray at Mass this Sunday and each Sunday that the Eucharist will transform you. If you do so, your faith will grow. If you allow Christ to transform you, you will have stronger convictions. You will have more passion. You will have the faith necessary to change the culture of death. You will be able to move mountains.

Do Whatever He Tells You

Last Sunday's Gospel reading (John 2:1-11) is loaded with a ton of good stuff. I could write many blogs on just this one passage. But there is one sentence that struck me and impacted me. That one sentence is the words of Mary, "Do whatever he tells you."

There is so much wisdom from this one sentence. First of all, we have the call of Mary. We, as Catholics, believe that Mary plays an important role in our salvation. Do we worship her? No. We seek her intercession. She goes to Jesus on our behalf to tell Him that there is "no more wine"; to share with him the dryness--the lack of faith--in our own lives. Then Mary comes back to us and tells us to "do whatever he tells you." Mary's response to the servers at the wedding is the same response she has to us when we seek her intercession. Mary asks us to do whatever Jesus tells us to do. Then we think about what happens after the servants do after Jesus tells them what to do. They fill up the the jars with water and bring them to the head waiter. In doing what Jesus tells them to do, a miracle happens.

Miracles happen when we do what Jesus tells us to do. They may not necessarily be "water into wine" miracles, but they do happen. Thinking on my life this is certainly true. In doing what Jesus wants me to do I am able to provide for my family. In doing what Jesus wants me to do I am able to enter into a deeper relationship with my wife. In doing what Jesus wants me to do, I am happier.

It is so hard to let go. It is hard to let go of what we want. We need to pray that what we want will be what Jesus wants for us. It is then that we will see miracles in our lives.

Life's Lessons in the Rosary

I prayed the rosary today for the first time in a long time, too long. As I was praying there were a few thing I reflected on. First of all, I was wondering why I don't pray the rosary more often. It is a truly wonderful prayer and an awesome way to focus in prayer. I have a tendency to allow my mind to wander when I attempt to pray and the rosary helps me to focus, not only on the repetitive Hail Marys and Our Fathers, but also to focus on the movement of the Lord in my heart. God spoke to me today through the rosary.

As I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries and reflecting on the events surrounding Christ's death, there were two things that came to mind. First of all, Christ did all of this for us. He endured pain, suffering, ridicule, and even death....for us. That is a hard concept for me to understand sometimes. I understand the theology behind it, but what I fail to grasp is the impact Christ's death has on my day to day life...because oftentimes it has no impact at all. I go about my daily life without thought about what Christ endured for me, for my sins. I continue to sin, and am not at all thankful for the price He paid for me. I need to change that in my life.

That need to change leads me to the second thing that came to mind while praying the Sorrowful Mysteries--How does one change? Christ, through His example those last days of His life, shows us how to change. We need to look to Him and how He reacted to those events and to try to live our lives in the same way.

Through the agony in the garden Christ gives us an example of surrender and obedience. We must be willing to surrender our wills to the Father's. This is so hard to do! Christ pleaded with His Father to let the cup He was about to drink to pass Him. In His humanness, He did not want to die. Yet, He let it all go. He knew and understood God's will for Him and was willing to sacrifice His own desires for the desires of the Father.

The scourging of the pillar and the crowning of thorns give us an example of humility. Christ was beaten, spit upon, and ridiculed. Yet, He did not lash out in anger at those who persecuted Him. He did not try to defend himself and His pride, but He let go. Christ humbled Himself before others and allowed the Father's will to be done in His life.

In the carrying of the cross we see an example of perseverance. Christ was forced to carry the heavy piece of wood that would become His cross through the streets of Jerusalem. He was forced to do so after He was whipped and beaten. He was already a broken man, in pain, weak, and tired. Yet, He persevered. He did not give up. He did not ask for help. Simon of Cyrene came to His aid, but at the request of the soldiers, not Christ's.

Then Christ is crucified. Here we have an example of forgiveness. After all Christ has been through--being whipped, spit on, crowned with thorns, forced to carry a heavy chunk of wood, and then hammered to that wood with nails--after all of this, Christ still has love in His heart: "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." Christ forgives.

If I want to be more like Christ, if I want to understand the impact that His suffering and death has had on my life, then I need to live out His example. I need to surrender and be obedient. I need to be humble. I need to persevere through all my trials. And most importantly, I need to have enough love in my heart to forgive.

I need to pray the rosary more. I need to more fully understand life's lessons in the rosary.

Quiet Desperation

"Most men live lives of quiet desperation." ~Henry David Thoreau

We live in a world where answers come in a form of a pill. We live in a society where if your marriage struggles, you just give up. We live in a time where if you just can't handle being a mother, you just kill your baby in the womb. Its funny how the words of Thoreau, written more than 150 years ago, still apply today.

We do live in a world of quiet desperation. We are struggling to make ends meet--financially, emotionally, spiritually. We are so desperate for connection with others, but we are looking in the wrong places. Church attendance is down across all denominations. At the same time traffic to sites like Facebook and twitter are on the rise.

What is the problem? Why are we living in desperation? We've removed God from our lives. We are too busy to make time for Him in prayer. We are unwilling to shut out all of the noise in our lives and listen to His words for us. We reject the church community over "personal spirituality." We are desperate in our lives because we don't connect with God. We are desperate in our lives because Facebook has replaced a real connection with others. (Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-Facebook. I use Facebook quite often, but I have seen it take over people's lives. It is when that happens that Facebook and other social networking sites become dangerous and lead us to a life of desperation.)

What do we do? First of all---go back to church. And don't just show up on Sunday and then go home without another thought to church or your faith for another week until you go again. Get involved. Every church has ministries. If there is not a ministry that fits your needs, start one. You need to know that you are not the only person that has struggles. Other people are struggling with the same things you are struggling with and many church ministries are small communities where people can share their struggles and support each other in their struggles. My wife and I are involved in an international movement called Teams of Our Lady which supports marriage. We have, from time to time, thought about leaving it because we are too busy, can't find babysitters, etc. but each time we come to the conclusion that we need this for our marriage.

The second--and most important--thing that you can do is pray. God is the healer of our desperation. If God is the center of your life then you will be surrounded in His love despite the struggles and trials you go through.

Life isn't easy. It isn't supposed to be easy. God wants us to rely on Him and others in our journey to salvation. We can't do it alone. We need to seek the support of others. Likewise, we need to be a support to others who come to us in desperation. It is supporting others that I most struggle with. I hope and pray that I can overcome this struggle and be able to support others who come to me in their time of need.

May God give us all the strength to move out of lives of quiet desperation and into lives where we are surrounded by others who love and support us and wrapped in the grace, mercy, and love of God.

Christmas Presents, Chastity, and....Rock the Vote?

I've spent the past few weeks thinking a lot about chastity. It has come up in conversations with my wife. It has also come up in the course of my job, in the planning process for a meeting on Theology of the Body for Teens for youth group. And then I saw this today:

Rock the Vote Asks Supporters to Withhold Sex to Pass Health Care Reform

This is wrong on so many different levels. On the most basic level, and one that, consequently, I have been thinking about a lot lately, it is an assault on chastity. We, as Catholics...well....actually....as HUMANS, are all called to live chaste lives.Our culture tells us otherwise. Our culture tells us it's O.K. to have sex anywhere, anytime, except, apparently, with someone who opposes the current health care legislation.

Since I've been thinking about chastity a lot lately, I've also been thinking about what it truly means to be chaste. Our culture tells us that chastity is sexual repression. Chastity is not sexual repression. Sexual repression is the unhealthy attempt to ignore or bury sexual desires. Chastity is embracing our sexual desires and using them as God intends.

What does that mean? Let me tell you a story to illustrate. When I was younger, around 13 or 14, my 2 brothers and I couldn't wait for Christmas to come. We were beyond the years of believing in Santa and we were impatient teenage boys. So, shortly after Thanksgiving we began our hunt. We scoured the house, from top to bottom, from the attic to the garage. We lacked self-control. After we discovered the first present, we couldn't resist and kept looking for more. The instant gratification we had in finding each of the presents was addicting. It didn't matter that we didn't know who the presents were for. It was all about the hunt. It was all about the finding. The three of us, over the course of a couple of weeks, had successfully discovered every single one of the Christmas presents my parents had purchased.

Christmas morning came and so did a tremendous amount of disappointment. I was disappointed that some of the presents I found and coveted for myself went to my brothers instead. I was disappointed because the mystery, the rush of anticipation, the excitement of Christmas' past wasn't there. It was the worst Christmas I have ever experienced. My search for instant gratification ruined my Christmas.

John Paul II said that "chastity is a difficult, long term matter. One must wait for it to bear fruit." Just as my search for all of my Christmas presents had no lasting satisfaction and ultimately led to disappointment, being sexually active (which involves much more than just having sex. We must be pure in our thoughts as well.) outside of God's intentions does the same. God has a wonderful, beautiful present for each one of us. For some of us, that present is a spouse. This present that God has for us is far better than anything we can find on our own. We must wait for this present. It will be a difficult wait. It will be radically counter-cultural (another subject my wife and I have been talking about lately) to wait. This waiting, this call to chastity, applies to all of us, whether married, single, or in celibate ministry. God will reward us for doing so. And it will be far more rewarding and will bear much more fruit than opening presents that first of all, aren't intended for us, and second of all, not ready to be given to us.

I'm Awful at Praying

I'm not a good prayer....I mean...I don't pray well. I never have been good at it. I have never been consistent at it. I try my hardest, sometimes, to make an effort to pray every day, but oftentimes my prayer is not fruitful. So I give up. I've expressed this to my spiritual director and he gave me some advice on how to focus my prayer. I've read books about prayer and tried the ideas in those books. The advice I've received from my spiritual director and the books I read are helpful....for a while. Then I fall back into my "old ways" and eventually give up on praying all together.

I think there are a couple of things at work here that are preventing me from being good at prayer. The first thing is my lack of commitment to it. At the first signs of "distress" I give up. I throw in the towel. I'm not disciplined enough to work through the difficult "desert moments" in my prayer and remain consistent. I can say all the right things and make all the promises but when push comes to shove, I just lack discipline.

I think there is something else going on, something deeper, that is at the heart of my problem with prayer. It is in yet another book I'm reading on prayer, Prayer and the Will of God, by Dom Hubert van Zeller. This idea that has been presented to me in van Zeller's book is something I've never considered before, and it is this:

Prayer comes from God, is kept going by God, and finds its way back to God by its own power. All we have to do is lend ourselves to the process as generously as we can, and not put any obstacles in the way.

So, who or what is the obstacle in my prayer? Me. I'm the obstacle in my prayer. The book goes on to say that "we are not so holy or so clever that we can make prayer. Prayer is a grace." My problem is that I'm trying to make prayer happen. I'm the one who is trying to control my prayer.

I need to do as van Zeller suggests, to just lend myself to the process and get out of the way. I need to put myself in a place where God can work through me in prayer. I need to give control over to God. This is a hard thing to do, with anything in our lives. I'm slowly learning to let go. I believe that this is the next thing that God is asking me to do--to let go of my spiritual life and give control of it over to Him. In the meantime, I take solace in the fact that "all He asks is that I should try to serve Him. The moment I try, I am in fact succeeding." (van Zeller)

Praise God for His mercy and strength!